Dear god. This is unwatchable because all of the jokes are either about her being a woman, her being bisexual, or her being a person of color. These aren't personality traits!!!! I wonder why the media would call her a "bisexual woman of colour" as lily so "hilariously" told us. Maybe....It's because you mention it every.time.in.every.joke. stop doing this!!!! It's not funny and it gets old really fast. Where is your old content, the sketches etc. that were actually funny to watch.
Reviews
19 Reviews
Left Behind
(I) (2014)
Anything remotely interesting?? Left behind!
25 September 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I wanted to watch this movie because nick cage was in it, and that usually means you're in for something good. But how wrong I was....... this movie is officially, the.worst.movie.I've.ever.seen. Nick cage is a pilot with a bad sense of humor who's having an affair, that's all you'll know about him by the end of the movie. There's also nick cage's daughter, who's.........nick cage's daughter. Yeah, that's pretty much her only personality trait. And there's nick cage's wife, who's, you guessed it: nick cage's wife. Oh and a good christian. So this movie is about the rapture, but my god do they drag it out before the rapture finally happens. So after like.. way too long, the rapture FINALLY happens. So nick cage's daughter is in a mall when it happens with her kid brother, who gets raptured. Now people have disappeared, their clothes and personal property are lying on the ground. But people are still robbing each other!?!?!? JUST PICK UP WHAT'S ON THE GROUND!!! Anyways, nick cage is in the air with his passenger plane and what do you know...his plane happens to be on an EXACT collision course with some other plane....can you believe it!? Because I certainly can't. So nick cage has all kinds of plane problems to deal with, but meanwhile, passengers have disappeared!!!??? Oh no, what is happening!?!? Why are all the characters clueless about the rapture because for the audience it was evident that the rapture was going to happen from the first minute. So why are they treating it as of the audience doesn't know what's going on either, by dragging out the plot so long before letting the characters find out what's happening. Also, at this point nothing happens in the movie. It's just nick cage's daughter trying to get home, just.walking between chaos. She doesn't encounter anyone interesting, doesn't do anything interesting...... so back to nick cage. He's......still in a plane...trying to figure out what's happening. There's this journalist guy on the plane who's trying to comfort people and explain things......so there some screentime that's filled with that.....and than nick cage's daughter arrives home and finds out that her mother has been raptured, wow. What a shocker. So nick cage gets some more plane problems and finds out that the rapture is happening.......FINALLY. He has to make an emergency landing and everyone survives woohoo. So he meets up with his daughter and they look at the city burning in the distance. Nick cage's daughter than says: "It's only the beginning." NO IT'S NOT. IT IS THE ENDING, THANK GOD!
THE ENDING OF A MOVIE THAT WAS ACTUALLY 15 MINUTES LONG BUT WAS DRAGGED OUT TO THE POINT IT COULD BE A CONTESTANT ON RUPAUL.
WHAT A PIECE OF STEAMING GARBAGE.
Mean Girls 2
(2011 TV Movie)
Why hollywood, why.
18 September 2019
Warning: Spoilers
The start of this movie should have mentally prepared me for the absolute trash pile I was about to watch. The first scene is the main character self-narrating her story with the most cliche sentence of them all: "I'm sure you're wondering how I got here." Honestly, no one is honey.
Anyway the story is about a girl named 'jo', who's a cool, edgy girl (as if her name didn't make that clear enough already) and she goes to a new school. She arrives on a vespa (she's cool, we get it) while self -narrating. I expected more from this camp rock actress, her narration sounded like she was giving a school presentation. When she arrives at school, she gets a best friend, (I forgot her name) who gets bullied (in a very unrealistic way, like falling over and the entire cafeteria starts to laugh at her.) by mean girls. The mean girls, are of course, a triad. The leader of the triad is called mandi. Because all mean girls are named megan or madison or mandy or some variation of one of those names, as we know. Now this girl has, in contrast to regina in mean girls, no personality. Like, at all. She has risen from the depths of hell, an empty vessel, created by Satan, the embodiment of shallowness. There's two other mean girls who's names I also forgot. One of them was just there to fill up the empty space and make the triad complete. The other one was played by emma from h2o, (she has never sunk deeper, not even in that movie where she was stuck under water). Her entire personality is her being sexual with men and the girls constantly criticising her for it. Long live the sexual liberation. Now these 3 girls are supposed to be super popular, yet they are dressed in clothes that look like they were produced by "Claire's".
Of course the main girl, Jo, gets in a fight with the triad, because they bully her friend. She gets in a relationship with a guy, who's mandis stepbrother. Her relationship with this guy never gets explored, neither does his relationship with mandi, it's all surface level. Now, plot twist, Jo was payed to be friends with the bullied girl, by her father, so she would have enough money for her dream college. She loses her one friend and her boyfriend because she becomes a mean girl herself. This doesn't happen slowly and gradually, as one would expect, no, she shifts 180 degrees in about 10 minutes of screentime. So she suddenly "noticed" that she didn't have any friends anymore, as one does. So she apologizes, public speech and all that stuff.. I won't bore you with the details. Oh yeah, there's this confrontation between her clique and mandi's in the hallway. I refuse to believe that they could block the hallway for everyone like that irl.
I refuse to acknowledge this as a movie that is in anyway related to mean girls (2004).
Annihilation
(I) (2018)
This movie deserves more attention
18 September 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This movie doesn't use jumpscares, but rather an eerie ambiance in order to make you feel scared. The storyline isn't predictable and the visuals are quite stunning. The concept is interesting and original. Everytime that damn bear came on screen I felt uncomfortable (as you should when watching a horror movie). The music was very scary as well, especially in scenes later in the movie. There wasn't any need to talk because the visuals and audio took care of the horror experience you needed.
Bratz
(2007)
One of the worst movies I've ever seen
18 September 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Honestly, who structured this movie's storyline!?!? Before the movie reaches it's midpoint, the girls have already broken up and repaired their clique 4 times (or more, I stopped counting). And one of the girls might as well be an extra!?!?! She hardly has any lines and you don't get to know anything about her! And there is this completely unbelievable romantic storyline, where the romance is based of of an encounter where one of the girls insults someone. Also the ppl who made this movie must be aliens because, they have no idea how human behaviour works. When a small dog walks up to you and bumps into you, you don't throw your entire plate of food over your shoulder.....resulting in a cartoon-ish chain reaction were people keep falling and throwing things, with one of the strangest camera angles and editing work I have ever seen. This movie is not just bad, it's weird. It was tiring and full of cliches.
Curb Your Enthusiasm
(2000–2024)
Wonderful entertainment
27 May 2019
Doesn't matter what he does, it always ends up going wrong, but in the most entertaining way possible. It's not predictable until the moment it happens. Regardless of his intentions everything, all the events, come together in the most unfortunate way for larry, hilariously so.
The relationship with his wife and manager are amazing.
Timeless, a must watch.
Money Heist
(2017–2021)
Great series
22 May 2019
It started out a little slow, but after a few episodes the story really starts to get interesting. The two intertwining storylines of the robbers inside the mint and the professor dealing with the police, each facing problems, is exhilarating. At the end of an episode you'll often think: are they gonna make it? Did the professor forsee this? Seeing the police's perspective as well was very interesting. An action-packed, well-written storyline, with good acting.
Definitely worth a watch.
Good Witch
(2015–2021)
Choking on my own drool
22 May 2019
There isn't one likeable character in this tv series, but the worst of them has to be the main character, the good witch: Cassie.
Cassie has many witch-esque powers such as: knowing who is walking into her store without looking at them.......... even though she could have just turned around and see who it was anyway. And knowing who is calling you on the phone........even though you could just pick up the phone and look at it and see who it was.
But Most importantly: she solves all the trivial problems in her town with tea. And my god, do the people in her town have trivial problems alright! Even though most of their silly problems can be solved with basic human communication, somehow the magic of cassies strangely flavoured tea always saves the day. And she certainly wants you to know that, giving everyone free products from her strangely called store "bell, book & candle" where she doesn't sell any bells or real books and most candles are decorative, with a huge smile on her face that is later gonna result in a surgical jaw procedure. Giving away her stuff for free to everyone makes you wonder how she can still afford her mortgage.
It is hilarious how every inhabitant of the town walks into her store with decorative, worthless trinkets and always thanks cassie for her infinite wisdom and her amazing products.
The episodes are just unbearably predictable with their "sometime you just need a little.....(insert strange tea name)" and everything always working out in the end.
The intro looks like the cast was filmed while sitting on the toilet. (I can't think of any other reason why you would smile so over the top)
All this is mixed together with some nice hallmark propaganda.
I don't recommend this show to anyone, or you really must live for utter cringe.
The Perfect Date
(I) (2019)
A missed chance
6 May 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This movie could have been so entertaining. A guy creates an app offering himself as a chaperone in exchange for payment. I was looking forward to see him going on dates with odd and funny people to strange and hilarious places. Instead we get a quick montage of him in different costumes.....and we see like one girl that he went on a date with..... And from that point on it's just your basic romantic movie: he doesn't like this one girl at first but later on they become friends, but he's got his eye on some other chick. (Even though he spoke to her once, and they didn't really talk about anything.) And of course eventually he realizes that he was in in love with the girl from the beginning and blabla.
I really felt this movie could have been so interesting, but instead they went with the same, predictable, dull plot as always.
Slender Man
(I) (2018)
Absolute trash, but has a few comedic moments.
6 May 2019
What a horrible movie, there's no real lead character in it, you never relate to any of the characters at all, and some of the characters just disappear halfway into the movie. Nothing gets explained and nothing is scary. But this movie gets 2 stars instead of one, because the decisions the girls make are hilarious and people's faces tweaking out is so funny. Basically everything that was supposed to be a jumpscare was pure comedy. This is probably the worst horror movie I have ever seen though.
WHAT A COMEDY PIECE
12 April 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Don't get me wrong, this is a completely unnecessary episode, that absolutely no one asked for, but GOD. DAMN. I was laughing for 45 minutes straight. From Kevin's hip swing dance, to cheryl low key flashing on stage, to betty and jughead abruptly breaking into song, to that ABSOLUTELY REALITY DEFYING Walk to the auditorium 🤣🤣
Hilarious!
Nobody's Fool
(2018)
Guuuuurlll....are you kidding me with this movie?
30 January 2019
God this movie was trash. From the moment tiffany haddish started to scream till the credits it was pure agony. I didn't laugh once. Screaming isn't funny. I just sat there with no expression on my face. And it was so unecessarily long, after an hour it felt like i had been watching for 4.
Mad Men
(2007–2015)
Going nowhere
18 December 2018
The acting was great, I felt like casting did well. However, I don't understand why this show gets such high ratings and so much praise from all sides. Sure, the show starts off with a decent storyline and soon you get interested in at least a couple of the many characters on screen. But as the seasons progress, you start to get annoyed at the constant cheating and lying of these people we're supposed to care about. And more importantly, you start to wonder: where is this all going?
The answer: nowhere. After a certain point I lost interest in the characters because their actions had no real direction and most interactions with other characters were repetitive and dull. Every now and then something unpredictable would happen, but it just wasn't enough for me. I watched until halfway season 5 before I finally called it quits, but I should have stopped sooner.
If you like watching people get up in morning, go to work, treat others terribly, go back home, lie to their spouses & repeat, than you should give it a try.
Legacies
(2018–2022)
STOP JULIE PLEC NOW!
21 November 2018
Boring and utterly predictable writing. Lack of interesting characters who could carry the show. Even the so-action scenes are boring as hell.want to see vampires and werewolves? PREPARE TO BE DISSAPOINTED, you'll get people standing around: either worrying or complaining. Petty teens with unused supernatural powers. Attempt at LGBT storyline, which by the minute is getting more likely to be marginalized. In a nutshell: 22 episodes that won't be worth watching.
Riverdale
(2017–2023)
If you want to see ABS, watch this show!
21 November 2018
The first season was annoying, cringy, but overall enjoyable to watch if you're into exaggerated teen drama. (Even though all of the "teenagers" are actually 25) The second season.....a 22 episodes during train-wreck. From the complete absence of rationality in the characters, no character consistency whatsoever, utterly ridiculous storylines that would never take place in reality, cringy "confrontational" dialogue, needless shirtless scenes attempting to lure you in by oversexualizing every character, overused stereotypes, major plot points being explained with deus ex machina, which seems like they weren't thought about at all and were just thrown in at the last minute, to just good old BAD (OVER)ACTING. There is only one reason to watch this show: if you like shirtless, muscular, good-looking men ("teenagers") with abs and attractive women ("teenagers") who wear high heels, short & tight skirts no matter how unpractical or life-threatening the situation is.
Watch the chilling adventures of sabrina instead, at least that show has a well-executed, interesting storyline with good acting, some nice comedy, and, some actual teenagers.
Breaking Bad
(2008–2013)
Everything you heard about it is true, a real must watch!
21 November 2018
Honestly one of the best shows I've ever watched. You don't have to be into drugs to watch it. Although the premise of the show is about the manufacturing of drugs, what really makes the story compelling is the characters. Top notch acting, combined with strong character development. If you want to watch a show in which every character on screen has something imteresting or exciting about them, than this is the show for you. If you want to watch a show in which the end of every episode makes you wonder: "How on earth will they get out of this dilemma?" Than this is the show for you. Breaking bad doesn't give you cheap, quick, flashy action scenes, instead it knows exactly how to create psychological tension and how to build up the anticipation, before it gives you an amazing, action- or drama-filled pay off.
Truly one of the greats.
Once Upon a Time
(2011–2018)
Don't watch all the seasons
21 November 2018
A very interesting concept for a show, the first season was rather interesting and had an compelling storyline. The way the fairytale world is mixed with the real world is beautiful. The main characters in the first season, regina and emma, are interesting and the storyline is wrapped up nicely by the end of the season. In the second season, there is a lot of character development and more fairytales are connected with the characters, again done beautifully, fairytales are intertwined, resulting in an exciting storyline. In the third season, new characters are introduced and they travel to new locations. This season is overall less compelling than the first and second season, and slower-paced, but still enjoyable to watch. Although the first half of season 4 still shows some enjoyable content, this is the turning point for the series, after this it seems like show was just going on for the sake of going on. Season 5 isn't gripping at all and it feels like they just ran out of ideas. Season 6 is a weaker version of season 5 and season 7 is just plain boring. Watch no further than the first 3 seasons, and maybe give season 4 a shot.
Marco Polo
(2014–2016)
Unused potential
21 November 2018
Very beautifully shot, very wonderfully acted. Unfortunately the potential the show has remains unused. What could have been a story full of intrigue and excitement, is instead rather dull. The story isn't gripping and the characters aren't interesting enough to compensate this.
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