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Reviews
The Acolyte: Lost/Found (2024)
Very mixed bag
This first episode of the Acolyte is a frustrating mix of interesting ideas and a setting I want to see more of, and very uninteresting characters and plot.
It's cool to see things in the pre-Phantom Menace Republic, but the way it's been executed is rather lackluster.
Everything seems like a tired rehash of material from the original six films - most of the characters here are just discount versions of their superior originals, from our main protagonist Osha, the troubled padawan who can't cope with loss (discount Anakin) to her sympathetic former master Sol (discount Qui-Gon) to the stern jedi elder Vernestra (discount Mace Windu), and let's not forget the scene at the end.... the unidentified Sith is basically a discount Kylo Ren, who was already himself a badly discounted Darth Vader...
It's a pity, because this setting has so much potential to explore, but the showrunners only give us a lazy rehash of much better past writing. Wasted potential, similar to the Obi-Wan show.
The Lost Empire (1984)
This film is immensely fun
Have you ever watched something and thought it was simultaneously the best and worst thing ever? Well, 1984's sexploitation B-movie is just that. Objectively speaking, this isn't too good... but it's also absolutely awesome.
It's basically a cheesy martial arts movie featuring several (stunning) women with (very) large breasts on a quest to save the world from a quintessentially evil villain operating from his classic island fortress of evil.
But the film doesn't take itself seriously, is amusingly overacted at some points and the whole thing is just... so much fun. It's like the perfect 80s B-movie you just watch for fun. 100% recommend to anyone who wants to enjoy life for 90 minutes.
Also, Raven de la Croix. She alone is worth viewing this film for.
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)
Heavily underrated, if flawed, Star Trek film
There's a funny thing with heavily bashed movies, and that's that the criticism will lower your expectations and, if you actually watch many of those movies with an open mind, you'll be pleasantly surprised.
This is definitely the case with Star Trek V, which is admittedly sandwiched between two better films, but it's still a solid production in its own rights. It's less of an action-driven Trek film and more about the camaraderie of the crew, and some interesting interactions with the Klingons, Romans and other groups. Sybok's character is an interesting antihero who ends up doing the right thing.
Plus, we get Jerry Goldsmith's beautiful score, with hints of his masterpieces that will come with the TNG films First Contact and Insurrection.
I suggest approaching this one with an open mind, and fans of 80s sci-fi and the Trek franchise should enjoy the film more than the low score would have one think. An underrated film for sure!
Sunshine (2007)
A hidden gem if I ever saw one
I only recently found out about this sci-fi film, and the premise immediately inspired me to watch it, and am I glad that I did.
I went in not knowing what to expect, and frankly came upon a masterpiece of mid 2000s cinema. An excellent cast, original story, great direction, solid effects and absolutely stunning soundtrack, this movie delivers in almost every respect.
It's got many characteristics of your typical disaster sci-fi film, but, much like Event Horizon, another classic, it delves into horror, especially in its latter half as they find the abandoned Icarus 1 from 7 years previously. Fans of that film should definitely check this one out; its bright, solar atmosphere bathed in the orange glow of the Sun complements Event Horizon's Neptunian darkness perfectly.
Interestingly, this film features many actors who'd become extremely well-known in the coming 15 years, and they all do an excellent job.
Strongly recommend fans of sci fi and horror check this one out!
Creature (1985)
Better than it has any right to be
Described as a shameless Alien rip-off, 1985's Creature (alternatively titled The Titan Find) piqued my curiosity, and upon watching it has proven to be more than a mere copy.
This is the quintessential 1980s sci-fi/horror B-movie, with relatively low production value and rather corny dialogue, but a solid dark atmosphere and fairly decent effects.
While the Alien inspiration cannot be ignored, the movie also draws elements from films like The Thing, in that you don't quite know who to trust, and is a bit reminiscent of, well... an old Star Trek film, as well as a bit of The Fly.
The plot is more interesting than the film's B-film nature would have you think, and while there are some significant plot holes, the end result is quite satisfying. Fans of 80s style sci-fi/horror/creature films should enjoy this one.
House of the Dragon: We Light the Way (2022)
Some very solid moments, but probably the weakest episode overall
While this episode does a solid job of advancing the plot and placing most of the chessboard for the now inevitable confrontation that's coming, the way it did it leaves something to be desired.
Alicent's Green Dress entry is superb, as is Matt Smith's cocky attitude throughout. The Strongs solidify their respective roles in what's coming, and we can clearly see that King Viserys is well on his way out. Hopefully it's not too premature and respects the book plot.
The Velaryons are still a bit weird, and that's where we get to the episode's main problem: how they switched out Joffrey Lonmouth's death in the book (dies during the melee for the royal wedding, at the hands of Cristone Cole) to this convoluted mess of a brawl. It came absolutely out of nowhere and, unlike the very plausible book version (a melee is where you can realistically murder someone you hate and get away with it), it makes ZERO sense.
Criston Cole just randomly assaults and murders another knight at a wedding feast? And then just casually walks away to the Godswood to seppuku himself? That's horrible writing, it has no plausibility and, in a Red Keep full of guards, he wouldn't be able to casually just stroll away from the scene of a murder surrounded by hundreds of witnesses.
A good episode hurt by a badly done finale.
Game of Thrones: The Last of the Starks (2019)
It's like they stopped trying
Season 8 started to a promising start, continuing on the path set by Season 7 of getting this show to a logical conclusion. Episode 3's Battle of Winterfell was a visually well-done battle episode that was solid, if occasionally showing illogical blunders in terms of strategy.
Then episode 4 came along, starting with a rather cringey speech by Jon Snow at the funerals of everyone who died defending Winterfell, which was followed by a victory feast that was mostly well done, notwithstanding small mistakes (Gendry was never Rivers, he's from the Crownlands (Bastards = Waters), not the Riverlands). Mostly, because that look Dany gets when she sees Jon being praised is so utterly obvious it's painful... not to mention Varys looking at her like he's about to have her poisoned.
But it gets worse from here on out. Jon just abandons Ghost, sending him north with Tormund and his Wildlings, breaking everything we know about the Stark-Direwolf attachment seen in ever Stark sibling since the very first episode of the series. This is the first truly unforgivable mistake in the episode.
Then comes the second. Rhaegal's ignominious death, made beyond cheap by what was basically a plot device kill. Dany was flying high up in the air, but we're supposed to believe that she was SURPRISED by shots fired from a fleet of Ironborn ships, with their huge distinctive sails. To make matters worse, the next scene reveals the fleet appearing from behind some sea rocks. Which usually don't hide ships from airborne parties... And the range at which they were able to accurate hit, wound and kill Rhaegal was utterly ridiculous. But then of course Dany manages to dodge all the following ballista bolts, despite flying at the fleet, just because.
Then the Iron fleet, with accuracy and a firing rate that would rival a 20th century fleet of battleships, annihilates the Targaryen ships which are several miles away. Missandei jumps into the water but somehow is the only person who's captured by Euron.
Yet another ridiculous plot element is the forced ''Mad Queen'' narrative that's being shoved down our throats, with Varys trying to conspire with Tyrion to have her eliminated in favor of Jon, because he might be a better ruler. And, in another demonstration of awful writing, the excuse given is that Daenerys considers attacking King's Landing instead of... I'm not sure. Negotiating with the woman who slaughtered her own family, her Tyrell allies, and who broke the last truce with Daenerys the instant she left King's Landing to go defend the North. It's such a forced, convoluted plot line that you can't help but want it to fail, and to see Varys executed.
Finally, we have the crowning jewel of this awful episode. The negotiation scene. Dany shows up with a pathetically small group of Unsullied to King's Landing, well in range of thousands of archers and dozens of Ballistas, and proceeds to... demand Cersei's unconditional surrender. Cersei makes the same demand of Dany, and threatens to execute Missandei then and there if Dany doesn't surrender. Tyrion tries to talk with Cersei, who doesn't respond and has Missandei executed... but lets the others leave. Why? Because. She could've killed Dany, Tyrion, Grey Worm and Varys in a few seconds, but... doesn't.
P.S. the overlooked Starbucks cup in front of Dany during the feast at Winterfell is a small thing, but it's such a telling symbol to demonstrate how the producers have let themselves go. They just aren't trying anymore, and it PAINFULLY shows. It's like they know that Game of Thrones is so popular that they can peddle the worst crap and their ratings will still be through the roof... which is the absolute worst thing any producer can ever do.
IO (2019)
Don't even bother with this.
As I was browsing through Netflix, this film caught my eye because of the title, and I expected an interesting sci-fi film about a doomed humanity fleeing Earth, using energy from Io... you know, anything to do with the actual title.
Woe and behold, it's actually a film about a girl who wanders a ruined city, looks at bugs and studies the atmosphere of Earth. From beginning to end. The closest we get to Jupiter's moon Io is her looking at it through a damned telescope... this film is the biggest fraud in cinema history. Skip.