Some Like Her Wet!
27 November 2002
Although it is often referred to as a "bomb"--and MM herself described it as such--"River of No Return" made money when it was released in 1954. Easy to see why. The idiocy that was Cinemascope was new, and "River" also offered the always dependably laconic Bob Mitchum, horses, wild Indians, a moral dilemma and most vitally, Marilyn Monroe at her sexiest. This is not to say MOnroe is good. Still under the influence of a Ruissian acting coach who emphasized en-un-ci-at-ion, Monroe is realistically natural in one moment, stiff in another--sometimes she starts off good with a good reading, only to end up bad, or vice versa. But her mannerisms are amusing and compelling, if not exactly good acting. Throw in four songs--one brooding, one bawdy, one tender, one mournful--and the MM figure in its prime (often soaking wet to great effect)

This movie gets a lot of play, now, on cable, and I've seen it often recently. Hands down Monroe never looked better, she is so ravishing here that every over-emphatic D or T is forgiven. (She would trot out this slender beauty, and striking bone-structure in the last year of her life.)

Actually, "River of No Return" looks better as the years pass. I don't know why--Monroe's lips are as riotously quivery as ever. But her backside remains superb. That must be it.
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