Review of Kickboxer

Kickboxer (1989)
Almost identical to Bloodsport, for those who just can't get enough.
16 April 2001
You either love or hate ol' Van Damme and his movies. For me, it's not quite possible to dislike a muscular male who gets off his kit once or twice per film. And if that's the sort of thing you're after, you'll be spoilt with Kickboxer, who's lengthy final battle is fought with both brawlers in mere beige loincloths.

But onto more serious matters. If ever there was a blatant copy of another film, this is it. The whole thing is almost exactly the same as Bloodsport, right down to the singer who croons out the insert songs. But in Thailand. There's a nasty and brutal local champ who beats up a loved one of Van Damme, his brother this time. Note that, just like in Bloodsport, the beaten-up big bro of Kickboxer is a rather irritating blokey with unsightly facial hair, who's just too full of himself (there's a lesson in there... don't wear a 'tache on a fighting ring, probably). J-C v D goes out for revenge against the mean champion. And this is where the only real difference between Kickboxer and Bloodsport shows; here, Van Damme is still lacking experience in the domain of martial arts, and needs to undergo a long training before he'll stand a chance against the big nasty.

This then leads to a big dose of scenes where the Damme-man undergoes harsh and slightly unusual training under an old master. Pretty much 2/3 of the movie are made up of these initiation scenes, and thus it seems like a much more slow and calm film than Bloodsport. It may also seem much more boring than Bloodsport to others, as there is fairly little actual fighting until the end of the film. Just a lot of long scenes where Van Damme strengthens himself, or scenes where we see some pretty Thai scenery. It's not that bad, really, and certainly less dull than it sounds, but this more sedate pace won't work for everyone.

In the end, the film does sort of make up for it's lack of zest by throwing in a long and very intense final battle (and the nasty here is a good deal more genuinely evil than Chong Li was in Bloodsport). Thrilling as though the final scene may be, it is sort of hard to believe that the hero could've gone from being a mere beginner to an expert strong enough to beat a highly feared champion so quickly. It somehow doesn't quite feel as if Van Damme has really undergone many months of agonising training, gaining fighting experience...exactly because we haven't seen him fight all that much up to the last (and pretty much only) battle. Where did he get the experience in practise from? Reading a handbook?

One thing to point out; the idea in this film is that Jean-Claude, unlike his badly shaven big bro, is the shy and sensitive intello of the two. Okay, so this point is only mentioned very briefly, but it still raises a lot of eyebrows. Jean-Clause Van Damme as the educated wuss in a family is about as plausible as Louis de Funès would be in a Swan Lake ballet (still, who knows...).

With it's flawed pace and blatant cloning of Bloodsport, this movie isn't ideal. It's not exactly horrible either, and remains watchable enough, but only total fighting film junkies will really enjoy it. The whole loincloth scene also makes it commendable to fans of male skin-showing (errr...right, brothers?). Others don't really have a reason to check this out.
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