Review of Spice World

Spice World (1997)
1/10
Well, at least I didn't go blind.
11 January 1999
I went to see Spice World on opening night with some friends (no, I am *not* a 12-year old Girl -- I'm a 21-year old College Student), fully expecting to see a 2-hour long commercial for the Spice Girls. The only other people in the theater with us were some teeny-boppers dressed up like the Spice Girls and some gangsta wannabes, who were probably hoping that there might be a flash of nudity. By the end of the movie, the wannabes had thrown all their drink ice at the movie screen and were booing it out loud. This is one reason not to watch this movie, even on video at home. There is a chance the ice you throw at the tv screen may somehow harm it, and your booing will wake the neighbors.

The teeny-boppers were not impressed with everyone else's responses to the film (violent vomiting, painful spasms), but I'm sure they've seen it another 40 times on video, alternating it with viewings of Titanic.

In short, this is a bad movie. A very, very, very bad movie. If you have read Douglas Adams' "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", then think of it this way: it is only slightly better than a Vogon poetry reading.

I wouldn't advise you to see it, but if you do, look out for:

1. The suits the tv guy wears. He's a pretty spiffy dresser.

2. The bus-jumping scene. This was just kitschy enough to *actually* be funny.

3. Roger Moore. Pity him. He was once a Bond.
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