Review of Big Meat Eater

10/10
Like everyone else here has said....someone ELSE has seen this?!
10 December 2002
This movie is truly one of the strangest and most remarkable things ever produced by pop culture. Lurking beneath its absurd, low-budget exterior and impossibly convoluted story is a bizarre, ironic kind of intelligence. One gets the sense that the gawdawfulness one is witnessing is actually carefully orchestrated in some sense, but it's vague and hard to grasp...

My friend stole the only copy of this film that I have ever known to exist from a local Hollywood Video where he worked. We treasure it like it were a newborn child, this arcane product of the darkest side of North American film that seems to mock you as you watch, entranced and baffled...

The music is especially awesome. You're ready to dismiss "En Mundo Chemico" and the mayor's weird "After Death" song as ripoffs of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" and Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Phantom of the Opera" theme...until you realize that this movie predates both by several years!!! My friends and I formulated a theory based on this fact that "Big Meat Eater" was in fact a critical turning point in our culture. Especially since that "Heat Seekin' Missile" song changed the way we all though about our...members.

The aforementioned subtle orchestration comes to the fore in the movie's final ten minutes (or so, I don't know), which constitute a cinematic orgasm of inexplicable occurrences. My favorite story related to this movie is how two friends of mine (let's call them "Dave" and "John," because those are their names) saw it together for the first time, but John had to leave ten minutes before the end. Later, when John asked the Dave to fill him in on those final ten minutes, it took Dave over HALF AN HOUR to recount all of it.

I may very well possess the only copy of this masterpiece in the galaxy. If you see it anywhere, GRAB IT and RUN!!! Don't even PAY for it for fear that the cashier will see what you've found and try to take it for him or herself!!! In fact, KILL anyone who sees you with it!!! Kill them before they kill you!!!

And for God's sake, don't forget your daily gum massage!
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