By some strange birth-defect, I admit to a certain level of fandom for the horror genre. Having said that, I rent these type of films with *seriously* lowered expectations. All I ask for is some good gore and a spooky killer. And this heaping pile fails to deliver either.
"UL:Final Cut" is exactly the type of film that the Scream trilogy attempted to parodize. Except that this film isn't attempting satire, it's taking itself seriously, utilizing every expired 80-s horror cliche imaginable:
-Girl walks into dark empty room/girl walks backward into dark, empty corner/girl runs into dark, spooky, woods....instead of running to that nice, brightly lit building. Duh.
If "Scream" succeeded at anything, it was at pointing out how completely absurd these type of plot contrivances are. Apparently, the lazy writers of "UL-Final Cut" learned nothing. Or simply didn't care.
Oh, and there's more...
-Girl tries to flee from killer, trips over her own hooves every twelve feet/girl tries to exit through door, door won't open....oh wait, it opens! Apparently a good 30 second terrified rattling of the doorknob was all it needed...<groan>
And the mother-of-all-horror-cliches...
-Girl runs from killer, panting and heaving, in an exhausting attempt to ditch her stalker...killer pursues at a comfortable cruising speed of 3 baby steps per minute. Yet killer always catches up. Huh?
Of course the first "U-L" was misery to endure, however this sequel ups the ante and takes misery to nth.
The funhouse-scene had perhaps a flickering of potential but quickly comes up lame. The deaths in this scene were super boring and featured perhaps the worst use of latex since the sleestaks in Land of the Lost.
Watching this, I couldn't help but to think that I had a better time having that abcess drained...
The first "U-L" used up all the interesting Urban Legends and so all you get here is some lame Scream 3 rip-off about murders on a film set. If only life imitated art , we would have been spared this pointless mess.
There is absolutely no redeemable quality to this waste, even for the most avid fans of the genre. It straight-up sucks, and that's being generous.
And what was up with the pathetic attempt at an in-joke? The Gina Gershon clone with pontoon-like lipses and snaggle-teeth. And guess what, she plays a lesbian! Oooh, inspired casting!! Not.
There isn't a rating on IMDB that's low enough to accurately reflect the sheer mind-numbing dumbness of Urban legend: Final Cut. Skip it a rent a Shannon Tweed flick.
"UL:Final Cut" is exactly the type of film that the Scream trilogy attempted to parodize. Except that this film isn't attempting satire, it's taking itself seriously, utilizing every expired 80-s horror cliche imaginable:
-Girl walks into dark empty room/girl walks backward into dark, empty corner/girl runs into dark, spooky, woods....instead of running to that nice, brightly lit building. Duh.
If "Scream" succeeded at anything, it was at pointing out how completely absurd these type of plot contrivances are. Apparently, the lazy writers of "UL-Final Cut" learned nothing. Or simply didn't care.
Oh, and there's more...
-Girl tries to flee from killer, trips over her own hooves every twelve feet/girl tries to exit through door, door won't open....oh wait, it opens! Apparently a good 30 second terrified rattling of the doorknob was all it needed...<groan>
And the mother-of-all-horror-cliches...
-Girl runs from killer, panting and heaving, in an exhausting attempt to ditch her stalker...killer pursues at a comfortable cruising speed of 3 baby steps per minute. Yet killer always catches up. Huh?
Of course the first "U-L" was misery to endure, however this sequel ups the ante and takes misery to nth.
The funhouse-scene had perhaps a flickering of potential but quickly comes up lame. The deaths in this scene were super boring and featured perhaps the worst use of latex since the sleestaks in Land of the Lost.
Watching this, I couldn't help but to think that I had a better time having that abcess drained...
The first "U-L" used up all the interesting Urban Legends and so all you get here is some lame Scream 3 rip-off about murders on a film set. If only life imitated art , we would have been spared this pointless mess.
There is absolutely no redeemable quality to this waste, even for the most avid fans of the genre. It straight-up sucks, and that's being generous.
And what was up with the pathetic attempt at an in-joke? The Gina Gershon clone with pontoon-like lipses and snaggle-teeth. And guess what, she plays a lesbian! Oooh, inspired casting!! Not.
There isn't a rating on IMDB that's low enough to accurately reflect the sheer mind-numbing dumbness of Urban legend: Final Cut. Skip it a rent a Shannon Tweed flick.