Beggars and Choosers (1999–2001)
Sharp, funny and addictively entertaining
11 March 2000
Warning: Spoilers
(Contains spoilers)

I *love* Beggars and Choosers. I love it to bits and pieces. The Irish TV station, Network 2, shows it on Friday nights (when it feels like it and there aren't too many sunspots or a vital tiddleywinks match), usually after midnight, and even though I'm always exhausted by Friday night I never miss it. How could I live without my weekly fix of Rob Malone, the only good man in Hollywood? Not to mention Brad, the whore of an agent; Yolanda, the actress with Tourette's Syndrome; Lori "the fox" Volpone, as ruthless as she is beautiful, and the Russian gangster Nicky Krasnikov who wears down her resistance with poetry and smouldering looks (oh, and killing people who threaten her); Malcolm, the VP of Talent who dithers about coming out and finally does it on national television. . .not to mention the two characters whose sole purpose is to be in the restaurants when the others are eating lunch and make phone calls about who's eating with who. ..

Beggars and Choosers is a television show about television, and the gloves are definitely off. I'm frankly amazed that it got made at all, it's so scathing about the business. Rob Malone (boss of the fictional LGT network) at one point says that television is "sh***y"; and he's the only one who cares. Everybody else is out for themselves and only themselves. They don't care who they have to stab in the back to push themselves ahead.

And yet even the scummiest of the characters have real motivations. Even though we *know* Lori Volpone is a workaholic megabitch who'd sell her own mother if it would get her the credit for a #1 Neilsen-rated show, it's impossible not to see through her eyes as she is gradually seduced by Krasnikov -- and even though Krasnikov is a ruthless killer, he is so honest, so straightforward, so undeniably *real*, that after the phoniness of Hollywood he comes as a breath of sweet, fresh air. Brad spends twenty minutes choosing socks, on the grounds that each pair of socks represents a different career track, and the scene is ludicrous yet at the same time logical; it's quite possible that the wrong socks *will* cripple his career, and his willingness to pay such attention to detail is what gives him the edge over the others.

Beggars and Choosers is hugely funny, audacious, and sharp; but it's also surprisingly warm. Through all the back-stabbing and lies, the characters remain likeable as well as fascinating. I hope it runs for a long time.
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