Review of Valentine

Valentine (2001)
2/10
Mostly lame slasher movie
7 February 2001
You've already seen Valentine, even if you haven't seen it. It's exactly what one would expect from a slasher movie nowadays, never deviating from the '90s horror formula for a single moment of running time. In terms of quality, it's basically worse than Scream 3 but not as awful as Urban Legend: Final Cut; i.e., it's bad, but watchable.

Some of the imagery is refreshingly effective, particularly in the maggot scene, but the movie has way too many unimportant supporting characters and too many long stretches where nothing interesting happens. It's nearly impossible to keep track of all the male characters, and they only contribute boring, pointless scenes. Watch out for the police investigator, though--the guy's such a terrible actor you'll be laughing uncontrollably whenever he shows up.

Enjoy this movie if you can. It's worth renting or watching it on HBO if you like these films, but if you dislike postmodern slasher movies in general then you should stay far away.
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