A key film of the new century
28 June 2004
Expecting "Cum in My Mouth I'll Spit It Back in Yours" to be a trite, meaningless romp in the overlooked genre of "snowballing films", I nevertheless sat down to watch this as part of my "24 Hours of Cum Extravaganza!!" Other movies featured were "Cum in My Ass Not in My Mouth", which I have reviewed elsewhere on IMDb, "Semen Sippers", and "Jizz Junkies"...but I digress.

Now, my overall expectations for "Cum in My Mouth I'll Spit It Back in Yours" were not unfounded, since at first glance, the title seems to sum up the main themes of the movie. Oh, sure...before watching this movie I had several burning questions to ask. Alright, well ONE burning question:

Why do I want a woman to spit my own cum back into my mouth? That kind of defeats the whole purpose of macho heterosexuality, does it not? I mean, certainly, I'm not going to stand around the water cooler the next day bragging about this to my co-workers. "Yeah, buddy. You may have done three girls last night, but guess what I did..."

Apparently, these fearless troopers don't mine "taking one for the team" in the fight for cinematic equality. (Though to be honest, I'm not sure which team they're on if you know what I mean.)

In short, this movie basically ended up being exactly what I expected it to be...a nearly three hour experiment in tedious and overbearing acting and cinematography that makes a third grade play look like "Lawrence of Arabia" in comparison. Of course, Mark Davis and Mickey G. can hardly be faulted, as even Robert De Niro would be thoroughly lost when director Mike Rubenstein explains his motivation for a scene. Although I did hear a rumor that Jon Dough prepared for his role by visiting several "underground establishments" in San Francisco. Those crazy method actors!!!

Seeing these gentlemen get their seminal fluid spat back at them is about as much of a turn on as seeing a Vietnamese transvestite named "Bang Bang Betty" dressed up as the purple Teletubbie having a three way with a donkey and my great grandma while Richard Simmons masturbates with butter and slowly pulls anal beads from his rectum. In other words, not very. Still, I guess it's better than having someone else's mayo on your face.

Far superior to this is "Cum Swapping Sluts" series of films. The same great snowballing acting you love, but without the dirty and awkward feeling of shame.
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