march of the wooden actors
8 November 2004
Ancient, malevolent aliens duke it out with the U.S. military in this 1956 B classic from Columbia. On reflection, perhaps the assignation of "B" to this movie is a bit optimistic, since it really is pretty goofy. According to Rumor Control, UFO enthusiasts of the time, like Truman Bethurum, Donald Keyhoe (whose book allegedly inspired the film), and others, were all a-twitter over the prospect of this film being a "fact"-based, rip-the-lid-off style expose'. They weren't real happy when what they got was cowboys and Indians, in flying saucers and zap guns. Undoubtedly adding to their, um, chagrin, was the almost unbelievably stilted acting, the most egregious perpetrator being Hugh Marlowe a.k.a Dr. Russell Marvin. Watching him clubfoot from scene to scene couldn't have gone over well. Come to think of it, we can't remember a single film that we've seen him in ("12 O'Clock High", "Day the Earth Stood Still", and "World Without End", to name just a few) where he DIDN'T look like someone put too much starch in his clothes. To add insult to injury, most of the other actors weren't any better; Don Curtis, as Maj. Hoagland, looked and sounded like he was reading his lines for the first time, and that cop! We mean REALLY!! Curtis, of course, was every bit as wooden and lifeless in "It Came from Beneath the Sea", but that's another story. It is just barely possible that the explanation for Marlowe's mechanical performance could be attributed to the unbridled outpouring of affection from his newlywed wife Carol, played by Ice Queen Joan Taylor. According to the script, she and Marlowe were married two hours and she won't even let him kiss her. There's a marriage made in Heaven, huh? Special-effects-wise, Harryhausen does his level best with this sadsack, and the saucers do look pretty good, but it's painfully obvious that the whole thing was shot on a shoestring budget, with scenes lifted from "Day the Earth Stood Still", music reused from "Sahara", and lots and lots of stock footage. Now, having said all this, you might have gotten the idea that we don't like this film. Au contrere! We actually do like this clunker, but we really can't give you a good reason why. Go figure.
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