1/10
A fate worse than death?
27 December 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Falling like a stone to your death from a rickety rope bridge suspended high over a merciless gorge is not a lot of fun. Neither is watching The Bridge of San Luis Rey. If I had to make a choice between the two fates I would almost certainly take the rope bridge over sitting in a theatre subjecting myself to this film. Hurtling to your death is all over quickly, the other option is tortuously dragged out to the tune of melodramatic, in your face music and fluffy actors fed only ham for 6 months.

Where this film really falls down though is the flaccid script housing the muddled and confused story, if I can call it that. At no point was I really sure what was happening, as characters seemed to appear and disappear amidst the aforementioned self-important rousing music. Someone lost the plot, if it was ever there. Traces were left behind, but not enough to make sense. I felt no empathy for any of the aforementioned characters, save for perhaps F.Murray Abraham, who was mildly entertaining.

After the first 30 minutes I gave up trying to follow what was unfolding and tried to concentrate on the camera-work, costumes and scenery, which were extremely beautiful. This only heightened the tragedy. This film could have been a great film. Peru, the Spanish empire, vanity, religion and intrigue - all of these ingredients are extremely potent and framed in a great story and script could have been the stuff of a classic. That opportunity was passed up. Shame.

It is obvious that the director has a great talent for visual scenarios and imagery, perhaps working in tandem with a 'story strong' executive producer would be the recipe for their future success. Otherwise, I think it's time to search for another career. The biscuit was finally taken at the 'burning' scene. This drew several bursts of laughter from around around the cinema. It was truly laughable.

I don't want to dwell too long on Robert De Niro's role in this film, which I think was the professional equivalent of risking all traversing along a rickety rope bridge suspended high over a merciless gorge and falling 300 feet down the deep hole into a dark lagoon. Good for him he can walk on water.

Everything else in this film drowns, and if the makers are lucky, without a trace.
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