Outlaw Force (1987)
5/10
Heavener is in Hell
30 March 2005
This movie is about a country singer, whose wife gets brutally murdered by a gang of punks who also kidnap his daughter and try to sell her to pedophiles. He travels to the big city to get them and their criminal friends.

The lead character is played by David Heavener, who has also written, directed, produced AND wrote the soundtrack for this movie! Something tells me that he wore maybe just ONE hat too many. This movie is so full of clichés and long pointless scenes with him singing entire songs, or cars driving, etc, I sure was glad my remote had a fast forward-button! Frank Stallone and Paul L. Smith plays the two investigating officers on the case, one of them a health-fanatic who eats yogurt and wears glasses, and the other a disgusting slob who chows down burgers and runs like a mountain of lard. (You guess who's portraying which). But both of them are just as dirty as the hero, when it comes to investigating suspects. Holding the life-support tube when a shot thug is laying on the ground begging for his life isn't really good police-work. "Oh, he's as good as dead anyway." they just say.

The Punk leader is played by Robert Bjorklund, who hasn't done ANYTHING else in his movie-career. So sad. He kind of reminds me of a poor-mans David Keith with eye-shadow on.

One of the other punks in his gang looks like Director Tim Burton, which made me laugh every time he appeared. At one point the hero is being held up by him, and he says "Haha, I've counted your bullets, you have none left", and then walks towards him with a knife. Then the hero just shoots him down and says: "Boy can't count", it was hilarious.

The gang also has some punk-chicks with them, who don't like them at all and helps the hero. One of them looks like Madonna, she's really slutty.

I liked the gas station attendant, 'Gumby', who the punks mugged and poured gasoline down his pants. What a lovable nerd.

And the ending, man was it stupid, I haven't seen an ending so bad since 'Cyborg Cop'! The bad guy asks the hero to drop his weapon, and when he dropped it, the bad guy walked over and tried to pick it up! The hero goes on to kick him in the head and shoot him down. Made me laugh, but that probably wasn't the intention.

Conclusion: While this movie is FAR from being 'good', it made me laugh on numerous occasions, and Frank Stallone is always fun to watch, plus Paul L. Smith looked a lot like a sloppy mans Bud Spencer in this!
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