Review of Troy

Troy (2004)
1/10
This is not the story of Troy! This is fast food!
22 June 2005
Take it from someone who read Homeros original "Illiade" and knows a little something about Greek myths and legends - the movie is crap.

1. Cast - a British Orlando Bloom as an Eastern Trojan prince? All of the actors were chosen only because they're on top of their carriers. All of them but Peter O'Tool. He was a veteran surrounded by amateurs. And that Krueger-chick is a lame travesty for a Helen of Troy.

2. The plot - I will not tell the story considering those who haven't seen the movie, but one thing just must be said - IT IS NOT HOW THE LEGEND GOES. Peterson changed it all, he made the story average and DRY. He took away that little something, that not only makes the story epic but also intriguing.

3. Gods - WHERE ARE THEY? If the movie was based on a true story (that probably happened some thousand years ago) no gods would be needed, but it is based on a Homer's epic poem where gods were the ones who carried the story. THEY WERE THE REASON TO EVERYTHING and played a very big part in the development of the war and people. Without them the story became so dry it was painful to watch.

Yeah, it was painful to watch, what Peterson did to the story, and that people actually like it. It ruined Brad Pitt for me, before I even got to now his movies better :(

And even if we drop Homer and legends and all this, the movie - the movie itself (acting, casting, war scenes, lines...) is bad. It's just a bad movie. Pitt is stale and woodsy, Krueger's only plus is that she's young and Bloom is none.

If you want an entertainment antique saga which is both entertaining and faithful watch Homer Simpsons "Odessy" (with Agness Skinner as Helen of Troy :)
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