Review of Eternal

Eternal (2004)
2/10
Eyes Wide Shut meets Countess Dracula
19 October 2005
For a "sexy" movie this features almost no nudity (one pair of smallish breasts) and all the characters are weirdos. It's all a bit dull and though some of the travelogue footage of buildings and interiors is nice actual dialog scenes fluctuate from shot to shot with grain and video scan lines showing up and distracting you from fairly mediocre dialog. Oh, and for a movie that's supposed to be sexy really none of the male or female characters are very attractive or sexy. The filmmakers have seen Eyes Wide Shut too many times as is obvious from the costumes and masks and perhps the sluggish pacing. This is also a movie where every character must be a multimillionaire due to the cars and houses they all live in. The film is loaded with product type of shots and never convinces you of being in a real world or any kind.

The best thing in the movie is Conrad Pla as the detective, he's funny and makes his character more engaging than should be possible given that he's really basically a "shit" character for reasons I won't give away.

Acting overall is uneven and has the feel of a lot of Canadians and Europeans pretending to be American--which is pretty much the case. There is no character to really relate to so it's all kind of a den of sin, but it's pretty slow moving and obvious. Each, new twist you will see coming and the story is really straight forward and protracted. The film doesn't really know how to get from scene to scene and momentary confusion as to where you are and what is going on is the only excitement it generates.

Music is by "Mysterious Art" which is not bad, but may give a hint and the pretensions of those involved. Blood letting, like the nudity, is pretty sparse and totally mundane.

A dull no fangs vampire film sparked by Conrad Pla's ability. If you're too sleepy to hit eject or fast forward and get it on a two for one day you won't be disappointed, but there are so many other films with this same plot.
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