Review of Crusader

Crusader (2005 TV Movie)
this movie is so bad it's a comedy
3 November 2005
evidently Spain gets more rain than London, (contrary to "My Fair Lady"), nobody wears a raincoat, and women have a competition to see how few ounces of clothing they can wear. Media networks are peopled by directors like Michael York named "McGovern", and women named Luciana or Vittoria or something who speak with flat American accents and look like Bo Derek. The star reporters in Spain are Americans too, with names like "Hank Robinson", who seem to need to save Spain from its greedy media titans. Good thing America doesn't have any greedy media titans. It's amazing how much metropolitan Barcelona looks like Vancouver, during action shots, or even Pittsburgh. Also its amusing how everyone in the cast at the millionaire/executive level is two steps away from a grimy alley devoid of people, especially if they're carrying incriminating tapes/evidence. The streets of Barcelona would seem to be peopled about 85% with contract killers waving guns with perfect lip gloss. TV stations with tapes of global impact are empty so the villains can stalk the place, (we all know how stations wait to release killer videotape). have some beers ready to drink every time someone shouts "bullsh*t" at the screen!
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