Dracula Sucks starts with the arrival of Richard Renfield (Richard Bulik) & his Aunt Irene (Patricia Manning) at a sanatorium owned & run by Dr. Arthur Seward (John Leslie) & his sister Dr. Sybil Seward (Kay Parker). It appears that Renfield has been suffering from nightmares & sleepless nights so his Aunt has asked the Seward's for help. That night Renfield hears voices which lead him to a nearby Abbey where Count Dracula (Jamie Gillis) bites him & turns him into his servant. The next day Dr. Seward's friend Dr. Van Helsing (Reggie Nalder as Detlef van Berg) arrives at the sanatorium to assist him in his research. It's not long before Dracula has sunk his fangs into a woman named Lucy Webster (Serena) who happens to be a friend of Dracula's ultimate prize Mina (Annette Haven) who Dracula wants to be his bride by mixing his semen with her blood, but not if Mina's fiancé Jonathan Harker (Paul Thomas) has anything to do with it...
Co-written & directed by Phillip Marshak Dracula Sucks, quite simply, sucks. At this point I should say that I am aware there are two distinct versions available both soft-core & hardcore variants, I will be commenting on the soft-core version called Dracula Sucks that ran for just over 87 minutes & not the hardcore version which is apparently known as Dracula's Bride. The script by Marshak & Daryl Marshak (Brother's maybe?) tries to mix sex & horror with the odd snippet of comedy but unfortunately with little success, no I'll rephrase that, with no success whatsoever. As Dracula Sucks tires to please both those viewers looking for horror & those looking for sex it fails to please either, the film is really slow & a bit of a chore to sit through. The character's are rubbish & just naming them Dracula, Van Helsing & Harker doesn't mean you automatically have a Dracula film. I pretty much hate this film, it has no horror elements apart from a few shots in Dracula's cobweb strewn tomb & a few lame Vampire attacks. The sex is also disappointing with them few & far between & in this version only last for a couple of minutes each if that & you certainly won't be able to masturbate over anything in this unless your really quick... Dracula Sucks includes an unnecessary, unpleasant & gratuitous rape, a bit of incest & a scene where a man has sex with a female Vampire while she is still supposedly asleep. As far as blood & gore goes there is one stake through the heart, a couple of Vampire bites including Count Dracula himself biting naked breasts but it's far less exciting & exploitative than it sounds. Dracula Sucks also attempts to be funny on occasion with some awful one-liner type dialogue driven jokes, it's a pretty safe bet no one will be rolling around on the floor in a fit of laughter. The entire film takes place in a castle of some sort & the surroundings look OK but overall Dracula Sucks is as cheap & nasty as it's pornography roots would suggest. The cinematography is bland, the music forgettable & the direction non-existent. The acting is also awful & Gillis is surely one of the worst on screen Dracula's ever. Personally I don't particularly like pornography anyway & when it turns a cinematic legend like Dracula into a cheap, worthless piece of crap such as this I can't recommend it at all to those looking for either horror or sex. I would imagine the hardcore version provides more in the way of sexual fulfilment but since I haven't seen that & this soft-core version is probably much more widely available I would have to say to any potential viewer to seriously think twice before wasting your time & money on this. Either go for a proper porno or a proper horror & not some messed up patchwork attempt at both but succeeds at neither.
Co-written & directed by Phillip Marshak Dracula Sucks, quite simply, sucks. At this point I should say that I am aware there are two distinct versions available both soft-core & hardcore variants, I will be commenting on the soft-core version called Dracula Sucks that ran for just over 87 minutes & not the hardcore version which is apparently known as Dracula's Bride. The script by Marshak & Daryl Marshak (Brother's maybe?) tries to mix sex & horror with the odd snippet of comedy but unfortunately with little success, no I'll rephrase that, with no success whatsoever. As Dracula Sucks tires to please both those viewers looking for horror & those looking for sex it fails to please either, the film is really slow & a bit of a chore to sit through. The character's are rubbish & just naming them Dracula, Van Helsing & Harker doesn't mean you automatically have a Dracula film. I pretty much hate this film, it has no horror elements apart from a few shots in Dracula's cobweb strewn tomb & a few lame Vampire attacks. The sex is also disappointing with them few & far between & in this version only last for a couple of minutes each if that & you certainly won't be able to masturbate over anything in this unless your really quick... Dracula Sucks includes an unnecessary, unpleasant & gratuitous rape, a bit of incest & a scene where a man has sex with a female Vampire while she is still supposedly asleep. As far as blood & gore goes there is one stake through the heart, a couple of Vampire bites including Count Dracula himself biting naked breasts but it's far less exciting & exploitative than it sounds. Dracula Sucks also attempts to be funny on occasion with some awful one-liner type dialogue driven jokes, it's a pretty safe bet no one will be rolling around on the floor in a fit of laughter. The entire film takes place in a castle of some sort & the surroundings look OK but overall Dracula Sucks is as cheap & nasty as it's pornography roots would suggest. The cinematography is bland, the music forgettable & the direction non-existent. The acting is also awful & Gillis is surely one of the worst on screen Dracula's ever. Personally I don't particularly like pornography anyway & when it turns a cinematic legend like Dracula into a cheap, worthless piece of crap such as this I can't recommend it at all to those looking for either horror or sex. I would imagine the hardcore version provides more in the way of sexual fulfilment but since I haven't seen that & this soft-core version is probably much more widely available I would have to say to any potential viewer to seriously think twice before wasting your time & money on this. Either go for a proper porno or a proper horror & not some messed up patchwork attempt at both but succeeds at neither.