Suspiria (1977)
7/10
The Art of Carnage
20 November 2005
Hitchcockian suspense, brilliant colors, and a killer ending. This one's got it all, folks.

This is a truly great film. I understand some blockhead is remaking it, which is about as foolish as the chowerhead who re-filmed Psycho block for block and added an...unfortunate scene.

There will never be another Suspiria. Never. The colors, texture and nuances are artistic.

Artistic. Does anyone see what an achievement this is? It's a slasher film, and it's actually beautiful. I mean, it is gorgeous. Terrifying and breathtaking at the same time. A utter orgasm of movie magic from an era when artistic vision outweighed the dollar.

This remake, whatever its aim, will flounder and die. Suspiria, the ONLY legitimate Suspiria, will never be forgotten. Directors have no common sense these days, and have no hope of making a film with the depth and precision of Suspiria.

What else shall I say? Shall I describe for you any of the suspenseful unfolding? No, only a monster would deprive an audience of these choice morsels. Should I warn the uninspired among you to avoid this film, since you appreciate nothing unless buildings explode and bimbos in leather shoot automatic rifles? Well, I just did.

This film is grotesquely perfect.
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