1/10
The Only Summary of This Film!!! *few to mild spoilers*
1 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I shan't start off by saying "I used to be an MK fan", because whenever I read those I want to fetch my violin and start playing. I enjoyed playing the games but was never "that" into them. Suffice to say I found the first Mortal Kombat, to be fairly entertaining. Mild stuff really, verging on "almost could be cool if..." A real four stars out of ten fiasco, but one that wouldn't offend.

MKA however became a pastime for us at University, when we were in that frame of mind, to throw it on and laugh ourselves silly with the absolute shambles that is this film. It is tragic. Enough said. This film has nothing going for it. Everything has taken a step backwards.

The special effects are woeful. Instead of three characters with mild in-depth studies, they jetisoned that for seven main characters, each with their own personal demons to overcome. Riveting. The script is what I have the most problem with. Pour example:

1) A new Raiden. Lambert, gave the role some credibility in the original and was responsible for giving MK a moderate turn over. Inevitably he wasn't going to do a second. So inevitably they had to bring in someone else. The audience knows this. The actors know this. The writers know this. But please don't have the character you created know this. He's supposed to be the same person, so to have him say "i've had a haircut rar rar" is a tragic way of saying "i know i'm not lambert so I did something different". 2) Robin Shao...Oh Robin. Many nights have been wiled away laughing at his demise from ewokian heights. A tragic actor, only in for his mild kung-fu knowledge, on the premise he could "act". Carried in the first film by Lambert and the chap who played Shang Tsung (don't remember his name but he was in Rising Sun). In this one, he's supposed to hold it all together...and fails miserably. To be fair, again however he has no script with which to work. At one moment, before the "final confrontation", it is claimed Lui Kang is the only one left who can defeat Shao Khan. So your characters mantra is "i want to do it, but i'm not ready", and you layer over that with dialogue, meanings, symbolism, action etc etc...you don't have your character say those words!!! Talk about a mickey mouse operation. The writers obviously fed up at this point that their obvious talents were wasted on this low budget tripe, so just had the character say it, so they could invariably fit in more "action" sequences. 3) Far too many to go into. The fact that everything is figured out so matter of factly. Raiden figures out the "prophecy" (don't ask) was a lie. Surely not??? So to explain this travesty of events he claims "they must of lied to me". Bravo. Many nights burning the midnight oil for that one huh? It is all too, "it is so because it is so"

The special effects truly are tragic. The only ones in the original were Sub Zero's Ice Blast, which in fairness was quite tastefully done if you are a hardcore fan. Scorpions "get over here", which is always a crowd favourite. Reptile, and Lui Kangs dragon punch (goro was Plasticine). But here they've wanted to go over the top with not nearly enough money. Sindels spinning to escape is woeful. Scorpions "get over here" is a pitiful remake (which also reminds me, Sub and Scorp are back, the two greatest characters ever, and yet they're midgets. About half the size from the original, looks as if they've been on three simultaneous atkins diets), and everything else is shambolic.

The action skips from one scene to the next, but nothing grabs the eye. Raidens fight against three reptile is the closest thing to stylish or anyway near the premise of "cool". But it is still a long way away.

To dispense with the formalities. This film sucks Donkey Balls...and yet I know so much about it...oh the pain..
12 out of 15 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed