Leave it to the Asylum to put out what might be the worst vampire movie since Dracula 3000. At least Dracula 3000 had a little bit of campy humor to it, this one takes itself seriously the whole way through and it's just pathetic.
This horrible attack on your eyes and mind begins with a bunch of vampire hunters, led by Abraham Van Helsing, going into a castle and try to kill Dracula, like a destitute man's version of Stephen Sommers' terrifically horrible VAN HELSING. Anyway, Van Helsing manages to kill Dracula, but he doesn't have much time to savor his victory before some super model with goofy fake teeth tells him that they are legion and he'll never be able to extinguish them completely. Our Van Helsing (this guy is so NOT Hugh Jackman) stews and tries to smolder in front of the camera. Fade to black.
Cut to Los Angeles, present day.
Van Helsing now has a short hair cut. He's still trying to hunt down all the vampires and kill them. I'm not quite sure why Van Helsing is still alive after all this time. I'm sure it was discussed somewhere in the movie, probably after I tuned out mentally - around the twenty minute mark. But going by movie logic, I just figured there was some kind of magic amulet or potion or curse that made him into a Highlander. So, Van Helsing rounds up a new crew of vampire hunters. Meanwhile, the vampires are getting ready for a war of their own. I guess you could say this is trying to be something like BLADE meets VAN HELSING. The guy who plays Van Helsing is trying to channel Hugh Jackman, and the guy that plays the vampire heavy is clearly going for a Stephen Dorff thing. They both fail miserably.
Maybe it's not entirely their fault. The worst thing you can do as a director is let a bad actor play a cowboy or a vampire. It brings out the worst in everyone. You give a bad actor a cowboy hat or a set of fangs, and watch out. As bad as they were, they will become ten times worse. But I digress. Bottom line is, avoid this one. Don't be fooled by the title, this rotten pile of cinematic garbage would make Bram Stoker roll in his grave. He wouldn't be stoked at all to see this thing with his name on it.
This horrible attack on your eyes and mind begins with a bunch of vampire hunters, led by Abraham Van Helsing, going into a castle and try to kill Dracula, like a destitute man's version of Stephen Sommers' terrifically horrible VAN HELSING. Anyway, Van Helsing manages to kill Dracula, but he doesn't have much time to savor his victory before some super model with goofy fake teeth tells him that they are legion and he'll never be able to extinguish them completely. Our Van Helsing (this guy is so NOT Hugh Jackman) stews and tries to smolder in front of the camera. Fade to black.
Cut to Los Angeles, present day.
Van Helsing now has a short hair cut. He's still trying to hunt down all the vampires and kill them. I'm not quite sure why Van Helsing is still alive after all this time. I'm sure it was discussed somewhere in the movie, probably after I tuned out mentally - around the twenty minute mark. But going by movie logic, I just figured there was some kind of magic amulet or potion or curse that made him into a Highlander. So, Van Helsing rounds up a new crew of vampire hunters. Meanwhile, the vampires are getting ready for a war of their own. I guess you could say this is trying to be something like BLADE meets VAN HELSING. The guy who plays Van Helsing is trying to channel Hugh Jackman, and the guy that plays the vampire heavy is clearly going for a Stephen Dorff thing. They both fail miserably.
Maybe it's not entirely their fault. The worst thing you can do as a director is let a bad actor play a cowboy or a vampire. It brings out the worst in everyone. You give a bad actor a cowboy hat or a set of fangs, and watch out. As bad as they were, they will become ten times worse. But I digress. Bottom line is, avoid this one. Don't be fooled by the title, this rotten pile of cinematic garbage would make Bram Stoker roll in his grave. He wouldn't be stoked at all to see this thing with his name on it.