Trilogy of Terror II (1996 TV Movie)
1/10
Glossy Crap, An Insult to the Memory of the Original
27 April 2006
Anyone who has ever seen the original should avoid this movie like the plague. While the 1975 Trilogy of Terror was a truly original triple slice of terror, delivering generous dollops of scares, the sequel is thoroughly unoriginal and 99% scare-free.

It's alarming that the same director did both. TOT2 is so vapid and glossy it reads like an audition tape for Tales From The Crypt. The script gives new meaning to the word unoriginal.

The first segment is an ancient horror comic book chestnut which has been roasted one too many times. Its twist ending offers the only true moment of horror, after a long, obvious set-up.

The second segment is a Monkey's Paw twist. The screen credit alleges it is by writer god Richard Matheson. But if Matheson ever saw this movie, he must have upchucked when he heard Lysette Anthony's impassioned occult incantation, in which she invoked the great and mighty god Tetragrammation. Apparently despite making a lifelong career from the occult, the director never heard of Tetragrammaton.

Worst of all is the last segment, a simpering rehash of the original, which featured Karen Black assailed by a very creepy and authentic-looking voodoo doll. The update misfires threefold. Lysette Anthony is a capable actress going through the motions, but generates no real feeling of horror. Karen Black was unforgettable in her performance, which transcended genre expectations, particularly for a made-for-TV movie. The new doll is atrocious, appearing to be made from the same plastic formula as Mr. Potatohead. Its annoying over-the-top growls only exacerbate the idiocy. Hopefully the special EFX crew on this one moved on to something more appropriate to their skills, like a Muppets movie.

It's sad that the once-great Dan Curtis, who gave us Dark Shadows and Burnt Offerings, could be reduced to delivering this piffle.

Horrid, not horror.
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