7/10
Borders on exceeding expectations
29 April 2006
When a teen comedy is released, everyone knows just about what to expect. There'll be a unpopular high school student ("Van Wilder" chose the maverick route and made him popular) who suffers from either sexual or emotional problems, there'll be a group of flawed but nonetheless faithful friends to help them out and there'll be a hot girl who takes inexplicable interest in Unpopular Student. There'll be a message, a moral, a contemporary soundtrack and a lot of sex. Such were everyone's expectations for "The Girl Next Door" Luke Greenfield's 2004 contribution to the genre, starring Elisha Cuthbert and Emile Hirsch, the advertising emphasis on the former.

Matthew Kidman (Hirsch) is a slightly repressed, highly unfulfilled near-graduate who aspires to win a scholarship to Georgetown on the basis of Moral Fiber. His dissatisfaction with overall life stems from his seeming incapacity to take a risk, to do something spontaneous and wild. Enter Danielle (Cuthbert), the gorgeous, free-spirited young niece of Matthew's next door neighbor, who is house-sitting for a few weeks. Immediately Matthew falls in love, and it would seem that the attraction is at least semi-reciprocated; for once he is feeling really, truly good about his life. What tips the film over from romantic comedy to teen comedy is not the presence of teenage characters, but the point when Matthew learns the perfect Girl Next Door is a porn-star.

If the premise sounds 'typically teen' and derivative of the much more successful 80's flick "Risky Business", then that's because it is, on both counts. However, as much as I'd like to dismiss this as yet another thoroughly forgettable, sexploitative perpetuation of a film-genre that hasn't been truly inspired in 20 years, something holds me back. There's a touch of admirableness to this film, a hint of maturity, a vague, familiar scent of a movie that wants to say something, that had more in mind than an admittedly beautiful girl taking her clothes off. The real problem is that, as sweet as the message of love clearly is, the film is just too inconsistent. One moment it's making an almost pertinent point, the next it's having a go at teenage virgins. One moment it's witty, the next it's vulgar. One moment it's smart, the next it's stupid.

It's this kind of inconsistency that gives you the feeling that the film-makers had a half-decent idea in their hands, but were, like their lead protagonist Matthew, afraid to take a risk. They border on breaking the mold at some points, but then they lose their nerve and retreat back into familiar but tired cliché. For instance, the opening 45 minutes or so of "The Girl Next Door" had me thinking I'd pegged this movie all wrong, even after the revelation of Danielle's profession. The whole thing was handled with astounding maturity, considering what kind of film we're dealing with. "How do you want me?" Danielle asks seductively of Matthew as she lies topless on the motel bed, aware now of his confused motives. The scene plays with unbelievable ridiculousness that even the fans would have to acknowledge, until Matthew comes through and speaks on behalf of the audience; "Why are you doing this?" Danielle then starts to show the kind of emotional damage we would realistically respect from her; "Isn't this what you want? To f*ck a porn-star in a cheap motel?" Hurt, she leaves Matthew to think about his careless actions, in turn leaving us thinking this bears startling resemblance to something that could actually happen in real life.

Unfortunately, this feeling doesn't last long. Strangely it is the entrance of the film's show-stealer, Timothy Olyphant, which marks the beginning of the film's decline. Olyphant's character Kelly, Danielle's former producer and charismatic sleaze is superbly acted and written, but seems like he's gate-crashing a film he doesn't really belong in. Ensuing his arrival are the much less interesting and involving (if, granted, rather humorous) aspects of the film: Danielle leaves peaceful suburbia with Kelly to resume her life of degradation, Matthew sacrifices his grades and potential scholarship to attend the Adult Film Convention to bring her back, and ends up bloodied, wanted by authorities and high on ecstasy; a state in which he must give a speech to a hall full of people on why he must get a scholarship for Moral Fiber. And of course, in true romantic comedy tradition, the speech is completely improvised, all about Danielle (who has returned out of true love) and receives heart-felt applause. The only typical cliché that wasn't used was to end the film there; it's just too bad that what followed was ridiculous, tedious and dragged on for far too long.

So I suppose you could say I'm in two minds about it. In a way, the film for me was a bit of a catch 22; all the faults would not have stood out or mattered nearly as much if it hadn't opted to show potential to be a much better, more interesting movie. On the other hand, the pleasant surprises it had to offer were, along with Timothy Olyphant, by far the best things about it. I guess what it all boils down to though is this; "The Girl Next Door" was not a film I expect to have strong opinions about. And it sure showed me.
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