Once Bitten (1985)
4/10
Allegded comedy horror that's neither funny nor scary.
12 May 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Once Bitten is set in mid 80's Los Angeles where a 400 year old Vampire Countess (Lauren Hutton) needs to drink the blood of a virgin three times before Halloween to keep her young looks, unfortunately for the Countess there aren't many virgins about & Halloween is a mere 10 days away... Teenage high school student Mark Kendall (Jim Carrey) is becoming frustrated with his girlfriend Robin (Karen Kopins) who refuses to have sexual relations with him, while everyone else around him seems to be at it like rabbits poor old Mark remains a virgin. With this in mind Mark & two of his friends Russ (Skip Lackey) & Jamie (Thomas Ballatore) decide to visit a seedy bar to try & pick up girls, Mark catches the attention of the Countess who takes him back to her place where she drinks his blood. Mark suddenly starts to develop strange characteristics, he wears sunglasses, sleeps during the day in a box, has a taste for raw meat & begins to dress in black. The Countess needs to drink Marks blood two more times but she finds it difficult as Robin notices the changes in Mark & sets out to protect him before he to is turned into a Vampire for good...

Directed by Howard Storm Once Bitten didn't really work for me. The script by David Hines, Jeffrey Hause & Jonathan Roberts tries to be a gentle horror comedy but in my opinion it falls pretty short on both counts. For a start the humour just isn't funny, the gay servant to the Countess who is as camp as he is embarrassing to watch, a scene when Mark accidentally drinks a glass of blood or a fancy dress party sequence when everyone keeps telling him he has a great Vampire outfit on to which he keeps saying he isn't wearing a costume, the character's aren't funny, the dialogue isn't funny, the situations aren't funny & the story itself isn't funny which is a very bad thing when Once Bitten is far more comedy driven than horror. There is only one even half way funny scene, it's when Marks two friends try to check his thigh for a Vampire bite in the school showers & everyone thinks they're all gay, yes that's really as funny as it gets folks. So the comedy side of things fails miserably what about the horror? Well don't expect the film to improve in this aspect either as there's a bit of blood drinking & Mark is chased through the Countesses house at the end by lots of Vampires but there's no blood or gore in it at all. Having said that I thought it told a reasonably decent story, it moved along at a fair pace & was sort of watchable in a silly, innocent kind of way.

Director Storm doesn't do much to liven things up, Once Bitten isn't much to look at to be honest & it has no real style or visual flair. The film is neither funny nor scary so Storm fails in everything he set the film out to be. Forget about any blood or gore as there isn't any.

With a supposed budget of about $3,200,000 Once Bitten is competent & it's well made, that's about the best thing I can say about it. I must admit the production design was quite nice especially the Countesses mansion which looked rather tasty & stylish, I wouldn't mind living there myself. Once Bitten was the first major role for Carrey, he does OK but you wouldn't have guessed from this that he would go on to become one of Hollywood's biggest earners. Hutton didn't do much for me as the Vampire, I just didn't think she was good looking enough & Cleavon Little as Sebastian her servant was awful.

Once Bitten may hold a certain curiosity value for being Jim Carrey's first film but that's no real reason to watch it. I found it all very flat, unfunny & uninspired. Fails in to many departments for me, watch only if desperate.
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