The only reason this movie is not in the bottom 100 is because not enough people have seen it. Given time and exposure, I am certain Goldy: The Last of the Golden Bears would make its way onto the hall of shame.
You have to understand, I am a person who will watch almost anything. The television set commands my attention with an almost unearthly magnetism. I will watch it no matter how boring, stupid, or repugnant just because the set is blaring. News, sports, soaps... if someone is watching it, I can't seem to pull myself away. This movie magically broke that spell. When we borrowed Goldy from our local library and tried to watch it as a family, I just got up and left less than halfway through. It was that bad.
The movie suffers from three primary shortcomings. 1. None of the "actors" can act, 2. The story is terribly weak, and 3. The pacing could put a garden snail in a coma. The overall effect seems to have been carefully crafted to produce a film that is as uninteresting as statistically possible.
If you can convince your friends to see this you might get a good laugh out of it, but I wouldn't wish it on my family members. They're blood, after all, and this movie is a slow and painful waste of a piece of their lives.
You have to understand, I am a person who will watch almost anything. The television set commands my attention with an almost unearthly magnetism. I will watch it no matter how boring, stupid, or repugnant just because the set is blaring. News, sports, soaps... if someone is watching it, I can't seem to pull myself away. This movie magically broke that spell. When we borrowed Goldy from our local library and tried to watch it as a family, I just got up and left less than halfway through. It was that bad.
The movie suffers from three primary shortcomings. 1. None of the "actors" can act, 2. The story is terribly weak, and 3. The pacing could put a garden snail in a coma. The overall effect seems to have been carefully crafted to produce a film that is as uninteresting as statistically possible.
If you can convince your friends to see this you might get a good laugh out of it, but I wouldn't wish it on my family members. They're blood, after all, and this movie is a slow and painful waste of a piece of their lives.