Cold and Dark (2005)
4/10
Brave attempt but ultimately uninteresting and flawed
26 July 2006
The initial premise of a Gothic cop and horror movie hybrid is a pretty good idea and certainly prompted me to hire out the film!!!! However the film is badly hampered by wooden acting, especially in the case of the Police Chief who reminded me of Kenric and Moss from a Black Adder the Third episode and seemed to be unable to grasp the difference between screen acting and stage acting, the main one being that you don't need to scream your lines at the camera!!!! Carly Turnbull's performance at Albany was very flat and while acceptable in places seemed like she spent the majority of the film reading her lines of an autocue!!!! Having said that the two main leads did put in a pretty good effort with Kevin Howarth, who I think is criminally underrated, proving his worth yet again as a villain by contributing a very convincing and creepy performance showing his characters descent from maverick cop to homicidal monster. Luke Goss did his best and put in a comparatively good performance. Also Matt Lucas cameo is well acted proving he can play straight as well.

Another resounding floor in the film has to be the Americanisation element, with the Police acting like American cops dressing like American cops and doing all but speaking in American accents!!!! The attempt to dress Luke Goss as Vin Diesel is especially frustrating. Also the parasite is a blatant copy of the stomach burster from the Alien quadrilogy!!!! The director Andrew Goth does well all being considered and uses the camera angles and cutting to good effect but with all the gaping plot holes and wooden acting he was unable to turn it around but as they said in Wayne's World "You cant polish a turd".

All in all a good idea that went horribly wrong!!!!!
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