Review of CSI: NY

CSI: NY (2004–2013)
7/10
Spare Me The Gory Details
20 September 2006
Okay, I think this is a good show...to listen to.

I should explain that I am an essentially squeamish person. So I don't actually *watch* the show. I turn the TV on to "CSI: NY," turn up the volume, and listen to it from the kitchen while I'm doing the dishes, or from my living room.

I don't like to watch bodies being dissected for autopsies. I don't like to watch blood spatterings being examined. And I especially get squeamish when they go inside a person while the murder is being committed, and show their bones breaking from within, their arteries and heart being punctured, their skull being cracked. (I'm getting squeamish just writing this.) So why do I turn on the show at all? One reason: Gary Sinese -- He is one of the best and most underused actors in show business. I enjoy watching (or at least listening to) his work.

I must say, however, the writers of "CSI: NY" seem to go out of their way to create inventive (and ludicrous) murder scenes. Like the guy who is stabbed to death using a Statue of Liberty key chain while nude bungee jumping with his girlfriend off the Brooklyn Bridge? Or the couple who is shot by a crossbow and pinioned together while having sex against a wall? Or the circus contortionist who is found folded up inside a suitcase, who (it turns out) suffocated to death when an elephant stepped on the suitcase lid, trapping him inside while he was practicing his act.

Do these kinds of bizarre murder cases really happen this frequently in real life, even in New York City? Okay, here in Seattle, we had the guy who was killed by an exploding lava lamp, and also the farm hand who was kicked to death by a horse while attempting to have sex with it. (I'm not making either of these cases up.) But these were accidental deaths that occurred two years apart.

I can't wait for the show where the murder victim is found impaled on the needle of the Chrysler Building dressed in a bunny suit, only to have the CSI: NY detectives discover that he was actually killed by a fatal water moccasin bite to his testicles while driving the zamboni at the New York Islanders hockey game at Madison Square Garden.
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