"The Boneyard" appears to be a guilty pleasure of many people around here, but I certainly can't write too many positive things about it. This is just another cheap B-movie put together by a guy who got himself noticed in the early 80's by providing the special effects for some decent films ("House", "Strange Invaders") and therefore assumed he'd be good in directing his very own movie as well. There's a fair amount of gruesome make-up effects to be found in this film, but there's no story and the comedy elements just downright suck. By now, I'm pretty sure you've already heard about the stupid poodle that transforms into a gigantic zombie-monster during the finale? Well, this particular gimmick is why so many horror freaks like the film. The oddly named Miss Poopinplatz (Phyllis Diller) and her dog are the nightly caretakers of a little town mortuary where the horribly decomposing bodies of three children are kept. Police detective Jersey Callum and spiritual medium Alley Cates investigating the case and they're in the mortuary when suddenly the dead youngster rise from the autopsy table and go on a rampage. The kids are creepy and good ol' Phyllis has some cool one-liners, but the majority of the film is lame and disappointing. The "zombies" (supposedly ancient Chinese monster-kids without background) never leave the basement of the mortuary and they don't even kill that many people! James Cummins' directing is uninspired and his script is even worse, as it doesn't have the least bit of continuity. Avoid, unless of course you fancy giant zombified poodles.
Review of The Boneyard
