Frankenfish (2004 TV Movie)
5/10
Beware the Dangers of Very Large Fish
31 March 2007
A man gets eaten in the swamps, so the government sends in a cop and a medical examiner. They find a group of people with eclectic qualities, and one of the meanest and biggest fish ever to try and eat a human being. (This review should have a "Jaws" reference, but it won't... I'm not even going to write "they're going to need a bigger boat".)

Despite this film being incredibly cheesy (and this cheesiness leading to my lower rating), it was also really fun in the sense of a 1950s b-movie where things always had to be bigger. Backwoods swamp people are fun, as are hippie Rastafarians. And then we have Chinese mafia people working for a big game hunter who have women at his beck and call. It's really silly if you think about it (so just don't).

Some great effects are in this movie, as well as some really awful ones. The bad ones pretty much revolve around the CGI of the fish... although I still appreciate blood and guts in any form. The best effect for me was a shotgun blast scene (I won't say who gets it) that literally made me jump from my love seat and cheer. Yeah, maybe I'm deranged. You'd be deranged, too, if your idea of a good time was staying up all night watching "Frankenfish" and "The XXXorcist".

I also wanted to say that this film stood out in my mind as a film with a strong black lead. Aside from Ken Foree and maybe Tony Todd, horror has a long history of marginalizing black characters and often kills them off as soon as possible. But this film places a black man as the hero, without using his "blackness" as any kind of joke. (It's actually sad I feel the need to point such things as this out, but horror films are one of the last genres to enter the modern world.)

Anyway, you're going to find cheesy effects and cheesy acting if you watch this movie. The plot is also strange (the connection between the mafia and the fish is really strained). But I honestly liked it, so maybe this will appeal to you if you like those sorts of films... think "Eight-Legged Freaks", but without David Arquette.
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