I'm watching Billy Bob in Astronaut Farmer. Its a ridiculous story about a Texas farmer named Farmer who wants to launch a rocket into orbit from his barn. The local banker is after him cause he hasn't paid the note on the homestead lately.
The government's starts to hassle Farmer (Billy Bob Thornton). His waf (Virginia Madsen) is bein' patient. Billy Bob throws a brick through the window of the local bank when its manager sends a note demanding immediate payment of the loan.
Billy Bob summons his lawyer (Tim Blake Nelson), who seeks the advice of a New York lawyer acquaintance, who advises them to notify the press. This brings Congress, the CIA, the FAA, the FFA, the Military and NASA to Cayahoga county to hold hearings in the local hah school gym. While Billy Bob is explainin' to the committee, a kid in a basketball outfit comes in, dribbles once preparing to shoot, sees he's interrupting and dribbles out.
Billy Bob's wife has to leave her groceries at the counter when her credit card won't fly at the food store. She considers leaving her husband. The FAA Chief privately warns Billy Bob in the Mens room that the government will fire a missile at his barn if he tries to launch. Farmer's lawyer emerges from a stall to tell him they're just trying' to scare him. Everyone buttons their pants and drifts out of the john.
At the very moment when all seems lost, Billy Bob's pop (Bruce Dern) up and dies. A bank representative tells him they will foreclose on the farm in two weeks. The press, with its microphones and satellite dishes is parked just outside the ranch. There's a couple of FBI men who keep musing in front of their station wagon at what a folly this all is, for Billy Bob and the government. The family has an old-fashioned funeral for Dern, with horse wagons toting the wooden coffin out to the lone prairie, and the family decked out in stetsons, suits and string ties. I swear Virginia Madsen is wearing one of those bonnets and a prairie length dress from covered wagon days.
With everything hanging in the balance, Farmer gets into the rocket and launches it himself, at the first opportunity. If goes up fifteen feet, falls back to the ground, then takes off on the ground like a bat out of hell, directly toward the Press Area, sending reporters scrambling. Billy Bob orbits off over a cliff briefly in the satellite, then falls into some rocks suffering contusions and broken ribs, requiring a hospital stay. The Chairman of the FAA gives a speech in town saying he told everybody it was folly.
Billy Bob's wife inherits enough from her father to stop the foreclosure. Her husband is in remorse; "I don' wanna hurt this family no more!" His oldest son is encouraging: "We can rebuild in the barn using some of the wrecked stuff!" Billy Bob starts wearing the astronaut suit he retrieved from a NASA dumpster again. He starts a running regimen as training. The family secretly begins preparing for a second launch.
The two hapless FBI men are still foraging for clues. Headquarters tells them Billy Bob has bought more 'rocket fuel' from the fertilizer store. A phalanx of federal, state and local official cars make a beeline for the ranch. The race is on. Billy Bob's holdin' his helmet in hand, ready to step aboard "Dreamer" again. The FBI stops a man in a mysterious pickup. "Rats, its one of own own men undercover!" Billy bob is saying "Roger" to his wife, who is riding the launching controls from a nearby trailer. His wife pushes a joystick filched from an ancient Atari video game computer: "Ignition, we're launched!" The Federal Phalanx is just outside the Gates, but Billy Bob is headed for orbit. The whole community is happy to see him go. Even the law enforcement types dance a little jig. Headed toward orbit from Cuyahoga county, Billy Bob is exuberant. The NASA folks in Houston are cheering at this blip on their radar screens, but they're unable to communicate with him because there's no CB radio equipment at the NASA command post.
Billy Bob shouts to his family from Orbit in the spinning satellite. There's a 2001 Blue Danube moment in space. The kids all say "Hi Daddy" from 'Mission Control.' Billy Bob opens his bottle of Nexium and lets the pills float weightlessly, He grabs one and gobbles it. In space, His electrical systems shut down, and he loses contact with his family. NASA and the joint chiefs announce that no flight has taken place, its all a hoax. Meanwhile, the family is calculating when the Capsule will float to earth and whether Billy bob will have enough oxygen to make the trip. There is enough oxygen. Billy bob drifts to earth somewhere in the African Velde, the music swelling. A gorgeous amber sunset serving as a backdrop, Billy Bob walks away. Hold it, this ain't no African Velde. Billy Bob's waf and kids just drove up in the Land Rover. Our hero has landed right smack near the bosom of his family! They drive away to celebrate at the Dairy Queen. The music swells triumphantly. Fin
The government's starts to hassle Farmer (Billy Bob Thornton). His waf (Virginia Madsen) is bein' patient. Billy Bob throws a brick through the window of the local bank when its manager sends a note demanding immediate payment of the loan.
Billy Bob summons his lawyer (Tim Blake Nelson), who seeks the advice of a New York lawyer acquaintance, who advises them to notify the press. This brings Congress, the CIA, the FAA, the FFA, the Military and NASA to Cayahoga county to hold hearings in the local hah school gym. While Billy Bob is explainin' to the committee, a kid in a basketball outfit comes in, dribbles once preparing to shoot, sees he's interrupting and dribbles out.
Billy Bob's wife has to leave her groceries at the counter when her credit card won't fly at the food store. She considers leaving her husband. The FAA Chief privately warns Billy Bob in the Mens room that the government will fire a missile at his barn if he tries to launch. Farmer's lawyer emerges from a stall to tell him they're just trying' to scare him. Everyone buttons their pants and drifts out of the john.
At the very moment when all seems lost, Billy Bob's pop (Bruce Dern) up and dies. A bank representative tells him they will foreclose on the farm in two weeks. The press, with its microphones and satellite dishes is parked just outside the ranch. There's a couple of FBI men who keep musing in front of their station wagon at what a folly this all is, for Billy Bob and the government. The family has an old-fashioned funeral for Dern, with horse wagons toting the wooden coffin out to the lone prairie, and the family decked out in stetsons, suits and string ties. I swear Virginia Madsen is wearing one of those bonnets and a prairie length dress from covered wagon days.
With everything hanging in the balance, Farmer gets into the rocket and launches it himself, at the first opportunity. If goes up fifteen feet, falls back to the ground, then takes off on the ground like a bat out of hell, directly toward the Press Area, sending reporters scrambling. Billy Bob orbits off over a cliff briefly in the satellite, then falls into some rocks suffering contusions and broken ribs, requiring a hospital stay. The Chairman of the FAA gives a speech in town saying he told everybody it was folly.
Billy Bob's wife inherits enough from her father to stop the foreclosure. Her husband is in remorse; "I don' wanna hurt this family no more!" His oldest son is encouraging: "We can rebuild in the barn using some of the wrecked stuff!" Billy Bob starts wearing the astronaut suit he retrieved from a NASA dumpster again. He starts a running regimen as training. The family secretly begins preparing for a second launch.
The two hapless FBI men are still foraging for clues. Headquarters tells them Billy Bob has bought more 'rocket fuel' from the fertilizer store. A phalanx of federal, state and local official cars make a beeline for the ranch. The race is on. Billy Bob's holdin' his helmet in hand, ready to step aboard "Dreamer" again. The FBI stops a man in a mysterious pickup. "Rats, its one of own own men undercover!" Billy bob is saying "Roger" to his wife, who is riding the launching controls from a nearby trailer. His wife pushes a joystick filched from an ancient Atari video game computer: "Ignition, we're launched!" The Federal Phalanx is just outside the Gates, but Billy Bob is headed for orbit. The whole community is happy to see him go. Even the law enforcement types dance a little jig. Headed toward orbit from Cuyahoga county, Billy Bob is exuberant. The NASA folks in Houston are cheering at this blip on their radar screens, but they're unable to communicate with him because there's no CB radio equipment at the NASA command post.
Billy Bob shouts to his family from Orbit in the spinning satellite. There's a 2001 Blue Danube moment in space. The kids all say "Hi Daddy" from 'Mission Control.' Billy Bob opens his bottle of Nexium and lets the pills float weightlessly, He grabs one and gobbles it. In space, His electrical systems shut down, and he loses contact with his family. NASA and the joint chiefs announce that no flight has taken place, its all a hoax. Meanwhile, the family is calculating when the Capsule will float to earth and whether Billy bob will have enough oxygen to make the trip. There is enough oxygen. Billy bob drifts to earth somewhere in the African Velde, the music swelling. A gorgeous amber sunset serving as a backdrop, Billy Bob walks away. Hold it, this ain't no African Velde. Billy Bob's waf and kids just drove up in the Land Rover. Our hero has landed right smack near the bosom of his family! They drive away to celebrate at the Dairy Queen. The music swells triumphantly. Fin