3/10
disaster movie pretends to be sci-fi/fantasy
14 December 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I really wanted to like this movie. Great cast – Walter Pidgeon in a role that reminds us of his iconic "Forbidden Planet," Barbara Eden and Robert Sterling as young lovers, Frankie Avalon as a musically inclined sailor (is a guy on a submarine a sailor?), even Peter Lorre as a scientist with a fondness for sharks. Maybe it's a good kiddie movie but I had trouble staying awake. Lorre was severely underused. I guess he was a red herring, like Pidgeon – you expect him to maybe go nuts and try to throw the hero or his gal in the shark tank. No such luck. By the way, why is there a shark tank on a submarine? It's typical of the movie's lack of ambition. They explain why Lorre is walking the shark back and forth (because we're seeing it) but just expect us to accept the fact that there's a shark on this sub for some reason. "Research?" Yeah, scientists are always doing that research stuff, who can understand them? Of course, if there wasn't a shark, who would kill the evil psychologist lady (Joan Fontaine)? I'm sorry but even kid's movies in the 50s are capable of being less predictable and frankly idiotic (not to mention exploitative).

The first 10 or 15 minutes really got my hopes up. Great theme song sung by Frankie Avalon. Pidgeon leading Floyd the Barber (Howard McNear actually, sorry Howie loved ya in "Blue Hawaii") and Joan Fontaine on a guided tour, careful to skip the room with the huge "WARNING" sign on the door, past Peter Lorre with aforementioned sharks, and then we see a full screen shot of Eden shaking her moneymaker to Avalon's impassioned horn playing! The movie quickly goes downstream from there. There's no real explanation for the firestorm threatening the Earth, so there's a distinct lack of dramatic tension and no villain to boot. Instead Pidgeon's character is made into an unconvincing red herring vaguely of the Ahab variety (I guess "The Caine Mutiny" was still fresh in people's minds), and Fontaine's character suddenly turns evil for no reason at the end. Oh, I suppose the reason is that it's a surprise for the audience. And it is kind of surprising, since the only negative thing she's done is to talk bad about the captain's mental health and there's STILL no reason why she did the sabotage after she's revealed to be the villain. Very poorly done and unconvincing. The guy who was the pessimistic bible nut was better – at least his character made sense.

So what else could go wrong? Endless, interminable scuba-diving footage. I never understand the appeal of that kind of thing. A giant squid attacks the ship for a minute, just so there's a monster for the theatrical trailer. Maybe that fooled some people into thinking it was going to be a fantasy adventure film, instead of a half-baked suspense movie about military scientists who are never wrong. Yes – perhaps worst of all, it's barely a fantasy movie much less a science fiction movie. It never did anything for my imagination because the whole premise was nothing but another disaster/apocalypse and these characters never experience any feelings of wonder or discovery. I'm through with Irwin Allen. I never liked his later movies anyway, but this one got me by pretending to be Jules Verne when it's really just another formula exercise in disaster escapism. The whole movie is just waiting to see which character will improbably turn evil and die. He always hired an actor/actress with a charming and personable screen persona to play these roles and that's the only element of "surprise" to be found since there's no logic to these characters anyway. What a pathetic waste of time for these actors. George Pal's movies are 100 times better (the only one that was lame was "Atlantis," which, not coincidentally, was the most Allen-esquire), full of wonder and excitement and – think of it! – ideas! Other than a few effects scenes and Barbara Eden, there's nothing worth seeing here in my opinion. I guess it's good fun for those who are into disaster movies, but I think they are a hollow and dull genre of films.
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