6/10
As in real life, when white noise is on screen; just turn the TV off.
30 January 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Spoiler warning(?): I don't give away any real plot twists, but I do talk about stuff that happens through the movie, so it's going to bunch your panties please don't read any further..

Patrick Lussier was a competent Editor on films such as the Scream franchise, Mimic, Halloween H20 and Red Eye. With him as Director, I'm sorry to say I found White Noise 2 hugely disappointing. In particular, despite having lost his wife & son in hideous and unexplained circumstances, Nathan Fillion shows about as much grief as somebody who may have had to throw some food away because it went bad before he got around to eating it. I'm reluctant to criticise Fillion because I am a huge fan of his work, but he has to take some of the blame. The guy could at least have chopped an onion or something before a scene, seriously. It's not that he's emotionally in shock. It's just pitiful storytelling. He watches family videos with all the affection of a distant cousin. Time passes in very strange ways; the bereaved father strikes up a new relationship within about 48 hours (to be fair, it is with Katee 'Oh my God, you're Starbuck' Sackhoff, but still..), and it seems as though only a few hours have passed before he's practically forgotten that he had a family. It's difficult to tell though - the directing/editing is incompetent in trying to convey any sense of time or scale. In one sequence, Katee turns up at his door with wine, to convince him to go out - then we get a shot of him laying in bed in turmoil (as if he turned her down - I think there's a 'scary bit' too) - and then they're outside drinking the wine - WTF!? Ghosts appear throughout & all over the place; extras who obviously spent time in make-up but don't appear to have anything to do with the script. They're mostly used as lazy 'jump scares' to stop viewers falling asleep. There's a 'white noise' thing that jumps around on displays & TV screens but again, has nothing to do with anything. As for the leap of logic that leads Nathan to his '3 day rule' - I haven't seen anything that weak since I tried to make tea without tea bags, and ran out of milk. It's got all the credibility of that game you play at school where you add up the letters in your names to see who is in love with who. Honestly, look up 'non sequitur' and see if "White Noise 2" is cited. If you kept getting ambushed by angry ghosts and having TVs turn themselves on around you, you'd be freaking out - but not in this movie. The ending is rubbish too, although it could have been a good idea if it were spliced onto a much better film. Sexist pig that I am, I'd be prepared to forgive and forget if we got to see Katee wearing something a bit more sexy (or preferably, not wearing it), but we don't get anywhere near, and although she is super-cute she gets surprisingly little time on screen. It's almost a cameo. At least Craig Fairbrass returns looking like a Batman villain (another gaping plot-hole for you there, folks). I do like the idea of making kids at a school recital singing things like Rush - Spirit of Radio instead of awful hymns or show-tunes, but it's the only glimmer of a good idea in the whole screenplay (and we only get to hear a line or two anyway). White Noise 2 is a terrible waste of time and effort.
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