Stranded (2001)
1/10
I've had better sh*ts than this.
29 March 2008
Sweet merciful Christ...I have actually excreted more worthy things into the toilet than this film.

The only possible reason this has 5.2 out of 10 is simply because of Gallo's bug-eyed presence and all things said and done...he's not bad...at playing Vincent Gallo.

I don't know the ins and outs of this film's production (got it for 24p from Somerfield...oh yeah..) but the script was the most hilarious thing ever put into action. With sparky dialogue like "I'm a geologist. That's how I know to keep my feet on the ground" I really don't know how this missed that Best Original Screenplay gong at the Academy.

Also, the subtle methods of weaving in plot details by comatose voice-over was genius. I'm now spending my time debating just what level of heroin consumption could possibly imbue the actors with their clear passion and unstoppable zeal for the project. That newsreader in the intro? If he's not dead in a gutter by now he's immune to narcotics. I literally wondered whether he was gonna keel over or vomit or something whilst spouting "What's it like...*sigh* I mean *deep breath* you're flying around Mars....*vomits* (off screen)" Please please save yourself, even die-hard Gallo-ers, don't watch this offence to cinema. Light your eyes on fire and see how many times you can blink before losing consciousness. It would be more fun. Seriously.
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