Karate Cop (1991)
3/10
He does "Karate"! He's a "Cop'! He's "Karate Cop"!!!
20 April 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I will at least give the filmmakers credit for making their intentions (and level of aspiration) known right up front - with a title like "Karate Cop", the viewer knows EXACTLY what he's getting, and also how good it's likely to be. (I.E.,not very good).

I also admit that this Ron Marchini film is far, far better than an earlier film I saw that that he "starred" in ("Death Machines") because he actually has dialog to deliver in this one (in "DM" he was a silent zombie killing machine) and he gets to kick people in the face on a regular basis (where in DM, the actual fights were few and dully staged). Ron's no actor, but he's in good shape, is reasonably photogenic, and doesn't seem to take himself too seriously. There are times in the movie where you can glimpse why a director thought he could be properly framed and featured to make a decent movie. Not a great movie, but a decent one. And since this movie is so much better than "Death Machines", if his acting and roles had continued and kept improving, I estimate he might have eventually been as as Don "The Dragon" Wilson.

"Karate Cop" is also better in two ways than the stream of similar post-apocalyptic themed Italian rip-offs of "Max Max" and "Escape From New York" because it appears to have been made by Americans. That means there isn't the annoying "tin-eared ESL dubbing" problem that always drags the Italian films down a notch. And there's a lot more martial-arts themed fighting and gladiatorial style combat in this one than in the typical Italian genre ripoff,and it's choreographed with admirable energy and zest. Of course, that's probably a given with a title like "Karate Cop". But it is also worse in the score for the soundtrack, which is obviously scored and performed by one guy with a synthesizer. It's like listening to a kazoo for 90 minutes - even when it's skillfully played, there's just too much synth, and it's way too insistent.

And you have to have an actual screenplay, acting, and dialog to hang those fight scenes on; otherwise you might just as well be playing a video game like "Final Fight". And this is where the movie falls way short. Even in a "Z" grade movie, you need to have a compelling plot that makes sense, but someone wrote this one with their frontal lobes in "neutral". And you need a few people who can really act, at least a little. Aside from Ron Marchini, "Snakey" probably has the best lines and gives the best performance of the cast, and the actor who plays the "Drug Lord" at least looks as if he's having a good time. But the rest of the cast, even the extras (especially the kids in the cast) couldn't get on stage in the local community theater.

And as for the the rest of it....sheesh. I don't know why directors working with poverty level budgets think they can get away with incorporating science fiction themes. Good SF requires a lot of time and talent and craft to get decent results. You have to engage in "world building" to make it work; you can't just dress the cast up in Salvation Army handouts and headbands and pretend that rubble strewn back alleys with graffiti on the walls are the shattered remains of a civilization. A fog machine is for dinner theaters - it isn't scene design.

"Death Machines" was an insult to me as a movie consumer. But for $1, I feel I got my money's worth from "Karate Cop". I can always use the DVD as a drinks coaster if I don't want to watch it again.
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