I wish I could write the following: "HELL RIDE is one hell of a ride." Unfortunately, I can't. The bikers in this movie do get to ride some sizzling hot women, so all is not forsaken. Larry Bishop's homage to biker pics tries hard to tart up its terrible script with a lot of cinematic lip gloss, but a turd is a turd, no matter how vigorously you polish it. The "story" is a lazy excuse for profanity, badly staged violence, and sleazy sex. Without the sleazy sex, this would be something of a bust. Imagine if a bunch of cult and counterculture actors got together for a reunion and filmed that reunion. Well, "Hell Ride" is that film. I'm sure Quentin Tarantino (the presenter) and his buddies had a great time partying on the Weinstein dime. They all look like they're having a great time; a lot of bare breasts get ogled and fondled (thank Christ!), and some decent performances do emerge from Michael Madsen and Dennis Hopper. As stated earlier, the women are very, very hot, and Bishop's camera zeroes right in on the bits and butts that count. The deliberately washed out, tilt focus photography feels very old hat, and the direct steals from many of Leone's films only serve to underline the bankruptcy of talent behind the key roles in this wanna-be of a biker flick. One of the most disappointing aspects of "Hell Ride" is the lack of hellish bike action. Do not expect even one-tenth of the action of a classic like "Mad Max", a film itself that homaged (stole from) "Born Losers", amongst others, but emerged with a fresh synthesis of its influences. Can you hear that churning sound? It's AIP spinning in its grave.
Review of Hell Ride
