Abysmal, awful, terrible garbage from beginning to end.
The acting, the actors, the direction, the wardrobe, the script, the camera work, the dialog, the story, the continuity, suspension of disbelief, the effects...everything about this movie fails. Everything about this "movie" was laughably poor, clumsy, amateurish and a downright stupid, that I'm 100% sure that anyone who rated it above a 3 worked on it. One of the "plants" even told me as much. Not even the "plants" remain loyal to this waste of film.
This "movie" makes Troma films look like Oscar pieces. I've never actually seen a film as bad as this...and I've seen "Death Tunnel." My friend uses his camcorder to make movie shorts and they're more well executed than this.
There was not a single thing I thought to be skilled or well done in this film at all. Everything right down to the core was worst than some of the feeblest first year film school attempts at film making I've seen over the years.
I've seen better acting in teenage "Live action role playing", actually scratch that... It was on par with a teenage "Live action role playing" because that's what it came off as. A bunch of amateurs overacting and making up the story as they went along whilst being directed by a pimply faced virgin who lives in his mother's basement. "Raawr! I'm a zombie!" "Grawr! I'm the HEAD zombie!' "Oh wow you brought stage blood? Awesome!" "Yeah I know right?" On that note, I've seen better makeup at our annual,local zombie walk.
Then there's story. Oh god the story was so abysmal I don't even know where to start! The script in it's entirety was so shockingly stupid, trite and just plain embarrassing from the dialog right down to the characters, that I'm not sure where to start save saying that it was just total garbage and had no merit whatsoever. I've read fanfics written by randy pre-teens that were more cohesive, polished, believable and well crafted. The script was agonizing. Simply every single element of this "film" was so terrible that words escape me.
Highlights:
...Oh god make it stop!! The list goes on and on!!
I watched the credits roll after and laughed that it so anyone in my film family wouldn't accidentally hire anyone who worked on this film.
Not even bad enough to be good. AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!
The acting, the actors, the direction, the wardrobe, the script, the camera work, the dialog, the story, the continuity, suspension of disbelief, the effects...everything about this movie fails. Everything about this "movie" was laughably poor, clumsy, amateurish and a downright stupid, that I'm 100% sure that anyone who rated it above a 3 worked on it. One of the "plants" even told me as much. Not even the "plants" remain loyal to this waste of film.
This "movie" makes Troma films look like Oscar pieces. I've never actually seen a film as bad as this...and I've seen "Death Tunnel." My friend uses his camcorder to make movie shorts and they're more well executed than this.
There was not a single thing I thought to be skilled or well done in this film at all. Everything right down to the core was worst than some of the feeblest first year film school attempts at film making I've seen over the years.
I've seen better acting in teenage "Live action role playing", actually scratch that... It was on par with a teenage "Live action role playing" because that's what it came off as. A bunch of amateurs overacting and making up the story as they went along whilst being directed by a pimply faced virgin who lives in his mother's basement. "Raawr! I'm a zombie!" "Grawr! I'm the HEAD zombie!' "Oh wow you brought stage blood? Awesome!" "Yeah I know right?" On that note, I've seen better makeup at our annual,local zombie walk.
Then there's story. Oh god the story was so abysmal I don't even know where to start! The script in it's entirety was so shockingly stupid, trite and just plain embarrassing from the dialog right down to the characters, that I'm not sure where to start save saying that it was just total garbage and had no merit whatsoever. I've read fanfics written by randy pre-teens that were more cohesive, polished, believable and well crafted. The script was agonizing. Simply every single element of this "film" was so terrible that words escape me.
Highlights:
- Mentally challenged slave women (who managed to find bleach and support garments during their "lives of captivity" as "zombie slaves".) Words cannot express how unfathomably bad the lead love interest "Star" is a she smacks her lips, stares into space, struggles with hard words such as "food" and exudes about as much charisma as a blow up doll.
- "Zombies" in scissor shredded clothes, stage blood and clown makeup... who care about hygiene...and seem to have sex drives.
- Zombies that "attack" by groaning and brushing heroes with outstretched but don't bite even when a heroes flesh is millimeters away from their mouths.
- Zombies that stop "attacking" and stand perfectly still to be shot, even when there are many of them crowding on person with a gun.
- Cages that have bars wide enough that even a fat person could slip between the bars.
- Male actors trying to look macho/pull a Bruce Campbell...but coming off more like gay porn actors fumbling through their dialog before the "action".
- Female roles (beyond the retarded slave women mentioned above) are butchy and resemble the female high school gym teacher some of us had.
- "Survivors" with clean clothes, fussy haircuts and 2 day stubble.
- Sets that a heavy rain fall would destroy
- Headache inducing oversaturated colors
- Dialog so strained and awkward the actors even look embarrassed.
...Oh god make it stop!! The list goes on and on!!
I watched the credits roll after and laughed that it so anyone in my film family wouldn't accidentally hire anyone who worked on this film.
Not even bad enough to be good. AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!