Here is the usual "SPOILERS ahead" warning. Read at your own peril!! I've always been a F13/Jason fan. Can't say I was excited about the remake being produced by Michael Bay but at least I hoped we would get some cool new special edition dvds (which we did). So expecting nothing and knowing I had my old favorites still to watch I went to check it out.
Have to say I was under impressed. One of the charms for me about F13 has always been the fact the movies didn't take themselves very serious. The creators might disagree with that statement but come on, how do you explain his healing factor, the fact Jason never runs but somehow always get ahead of his victim and his "victim radar"? This new movie tries really hard to make it "realistic". Jason runs (*sigh*) after his victims. (Runs? Runs? Jason doesn't run!) There is some sort of crazy mine below Camp Crystal Lake (?) that Jason now uses to get around (because the director wanted a mine. You know, a generic mine, not any particular kind). Along with bear traps and trip wires to let him know where people are. Some half buried bus to come out of ... somewhere on the camp ground. We only get one "Kill, kill, kill, Ma, ma, ma" when he finds the hockey mask. (I remember reading that the new creators wanted to have some "meaning" about why and where he got the mask. Guess they forgot that because it's the same thing, he finds it.) And oh yeah, not much happens at the camp because the producer, Michael "Big Explosion" Bay, thinks that summer camps aren't scary. That reminds me of the director for a Captain America movie who said he hated the costume so he kept the hero out of costume as much as possible. Where the Hell do they get these people? It's more of a remake of F12 Part 3, than Part 1 or Part 2 though there are parts of both in it. Nana Visitor is utterly wasted as the new Mrs. Voorhees. There are some great comments over at Stacy Ponder's Final Girl blog review. Then I found out something that would have kept me totally away from the flick, the director is the same guy who did the god-awful remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre from a few years back (Marcus Nispel). Honestly, if I had known that, I wouldn't have wasted the $9.50 nor the time. But, I would have warned you my friends, this guy doesn't ever need to make a movie again. Let alone another "horror" movie.
It's not totally horrible and I'm sure the kids who like the remakes of the current time will like it. But for this old timer, it takes the parts of F13 I liked and totally ejects them in favor or "realism". Honestly, it makes me worry even more about the upcoming "new" Star Trek.
For old fans, I would recommend picking up the new versions of F13 1-3 and "His Name Was Jason". F13 P3 is finally in 3D, and His Name Was Jason is hosted by Tom Savini. All kinds of 80's slasher goodness there. Don't forget the original "Valentine's Day Massacre" just released, also uncut for the first time ever. You'll enjoy it more than this remake.
I'll give it 1 hockey mask out of 5.
Have to say I was under impressed. One of the charms for me about F13 has always been the fact the movies didn't take themselves very serious. The creators might disagree with that statement but come on, how do you explain his healing factor, the fact Jason never runs but somehow always get ahead of his victim and his "victim radar"? This new movie tries really hard to make it "realistic". Jason runs (*sigh*) after his victims. (Runs? Runs? Jason doesn't run!) There is some sort of crazy mine below Camp Crystal Lake (?) that Jason now uses to get around (because the director wanted a mine. You know, a generic mine, not any particular kind). Along with bear traps and trip wires to let him know where people are. Some half buried bus to come out of ... somewhere on the camp ground. We only get one "Kill, kill, kill, Ma, ma, ma" when he finds the hockey mask. (I remember reading that the new creators wanted to have some "meaning" about why and where he got the mask. Guess they forgot that because it's the same thing, he finds it.) And oh yeah, not much happens at the camp because the producer, Michael "Big Explosion" Bay, thinks that summer camps aren't scary. That reminds me of the director for a Captain America movie who said he hated the costume so he kept the hero out of costume as much as possible. Where the Hell do they get these people? It's more of a remake of F12 Part 3, than Part 1 or Part 2 though there are parts of both in it. Nana Visitor is utterly wasted as the new Mrs. Voorhees. There are some great comments over at Stacy Ponder's Final Girl blog review. Then I found out something that would have kept me totally away from the flick, the director is the same guy who did the god-awful remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre from a few years back (Marcus Nispel). Honestly, if I had known that, I wouldn't have wasted the $9.50 nor the time. But, I would have warned you my friends, this guy doesn't ever need to make a movie again. Let alone another "horror" movie.
It's not totally horrible and I'm sure the kids who like the remakes of the current time will like it. But for this old timer, it takes the parts of F13 I liked and totally ejects them in favor or "realism". Honestly, it makes me worry even more about the upcoming "new" Star Trek.
For old fans, I would recommend picking up the new versions of F13 1-3 and "His Name Was Jason". F13 P3 is finally in 3D, and His Name Was Jason is hosted by Tom Savini. All kinds of 80's slasher goodness there. Don't forget the original "Valentine's Day Massacre" just released, also uncut for the first time ever. You'll enjoy it more than this remake.
I'll give it 1 hockey mask out of 5.