Dateless employee at an architectural design firm in New York City meets a girl on the subway and asks her out; despite the fact that she's distracted and unpleasant, he eventually gets her into bed--only to find out later she's the Big Apple's resident superhero, G-Girl. One can see right off how writer Don Payne's below-average screenplay got by in the pitch meetings at Regency Films (and later with Fox): cross the superhero genre with a comedic take on "Fatal Attraction"...voilà! I don't know how a talented director like Ivan Reitman got involved, unless the pay was just too tempting. Uma Thurman plays the distaff Superman--with powers bestowed upon her by a fallen meteorite--but she isn't a fantasy heroine; Payne has conceived the character as a needy, possessive, vindictive bitch (he telegraphs this from miles away, though Thurman still plays the role for sassy laughs). It's a worthless, abysmal movie, the kind that can't let an insult slip by. Our introduction to leading man Luke Wilson, talking with Rainn Wilson on the train, is accompanied by a sour dig at gays (it prods at us to be assured these two buddies are strictly ladies' men). After being approached by G-Girl's nemesis, who wants to zap her powers, Wilson is told this will make her just an ordinary woman scorned...and isn't that better after all? Thurman's early performances in films like "Henry & June" and "Jennifer 8" showcased an intelligent woman with angular grace and hypnotic poise; her films with Quentin Tarantino helped expose her sinewy hardness and intensity, but that came at a price (the actress has seemingly lost her graceful touch). The picture is exceedingly well-produced and shot, with expensive-seeming special effects, yet nobody bothered to find the humor in this scenario. It's pushy, leering, ugly, and badly-cast. Bloated, frozen-faced Wilson can't tell any of his co-workers that he's dating G-Girl because she's made him swear he'd rather have a chainsaw stuck up his rectum. I wonder if Payne actually thought that was hilarious...or, indeed, if anyone involved did? NO STARS from ****