Soldier Boyz (1995)
3/10
So Bad It's Almost Good...
6 April 2009
Warning: Spoilers
... But bare in mind I did say " almost " . I don't know if it's because I've recently got in to THE WIRE but I do expect if not vermislitiude then at least some basic credibility when I'm watching something . I'm not sure if the producers of this movie are aware of words like credibility never mind vermislitude

As has been said if you've defeated countries like France , The United States and China in long lasting bloody conflicts how difficult is it to crack down on a bunch of gangsters who want to spoil a multi billion dollar trade agreement between America and Vietnam ? If you set up a premise of " VIP's daughter getting kidnapped by bad guy rebels in third world country " wouldn't Columbia be a more credible location ?

Did I mention the word credible ? Just curious because SOLDIER BOYZ becomes more and more incredible as it goes along . Prison counselor Tolliver is visited in jail by VIP and a former 5 star general . So far so bad but the meeting takes place in a prison dining hall . Just the sort of place to arrange a meeting if you want the inmates to riot and take hostages . The only obvious reason the prisoners don't think of this is because they're too busy shanking one another and showing their karate moves . Just the sort of people you'd want to hire to save some VIP's daughter being held in a jungle

Yes that's the plot - a bunch of really nasty violent prisoners are given an amnesty if they can rescue the hostage . Hey sounds like that movie from the late 60s with Lee Marvin, but where as THE DIRTY DOZEN had an internal logic to it this movie doesn't . Seeing as there is a multi billion dollar trade agreement at stake why don't the Vietnamese use their own special forces unit to save the hostage ? Possibly there'd be an American audience having difficulty in empathizing with former enemies . So why not use a delta force unit , or battle hardened American mercs ? Wouldn't that be more sensible ?

SOLDIER BOYZ continues to tell its story in this illogical , ridiculous , nonsensical manner . As soon as the unit reaches the 'Nam they decide to bump off Toliver by engaging in fisticuffs one by one . Couldn't they have rushed him all at once ? Couldn't they have shot him ? Even if they did kill him there'd be nowhere to escape to so why kill him . I promise you the only enjoyment in this film is watching each and every scene pointing out how ridiculous the scene is
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