Woodyanders Review of Ghosts of Goldfield

Ghosts of Goldfield (2007 Video)

A very crummy and run of the mill supernatural horror clunker

[2/10 · 9 July 2009]

Five college students - sensitive Julie (Marnette Patterson, the sole decent actress in the film), nice guy Chad (Kellan Lutz), jerky Mike (Richie Chance), nerdy Dean (Scott Whyte), and bitchy Kerri (Mandy Amano) -- go to Goldfield, Nevada to make a documentary on ghosts. The quintet check out an old rundown hotel that's haunted by the angry and unrestful spirit of Elizabeth (ravishing Ashley Rae), who was murdered by her cuckolded husband George Winfield (Chuck Zito) a long time ago. Director Ed Winfield, working from an extremely talky, hackneyed and uneventful script by Dominic Biondi, lets the pace crawl along at an excruciatingly sluggish rate and fails to develop any much-needed tension or momentum. Moreover, the bulk of the characters are highly irritating and obnoxious chowderheads who elicit zero sympathy from the viewer. One quite simply doesn't give a fig whether these hateful tools live or die. The largely poor acting rates as another significant flaw, with Chance copping the grand booby prize for his profoundly grating portrayal of the grossly unappealing Mike. The lousy dialogue, consisting mostly of the usual profanities, is downright painful to hear at times. The grindingly predictable story doesn't help matters any. Ditto the generic shuddery score, chintzy (less than) special effects, tacky gore (the spurting blood looks like fruit punch), and lackluster cinematography. Roddy Piper is wasted as a gruff and unfriendly local bartender. The key problem with this film is that it's awfully slow and long-winded; the plot takes forever to get going and by the time the narrative finally peps up in the last third you're too numb with boredom to care. Worse yet, there isn't even any gratuitous female nudity to be seen during the token soft-core sex scene. Not even the downbeat ending can redeem this dud. A total wash-out.