Talk about having your priorities out of order! Chris the town preacher who sports a man perm is married to Sybil, a drunk hottie who appears on screen either in sexy lingerie, drinking, or both. How many more signs does a cat need that this lady needs some serious husband on wife attention? Does she have to signal him in with airstrip landing lights for crying out loud? Instead Chris becomes infatuated with a piano. Yes a freaking piano. Anyway, this piano that sounds like an organ is returned to the village of Ludlow by the descendants of Efrem Ludlow one of the town's original founders. Turns out Efrem really angered everyone by constantly playing the thing so they did what any respectable music hating citizen would do. They cut off his hands. Fast forward two hundred years and the spirit of Efrem emerges from the piano/harpsichord/organ/kazoo and takes revenge on the town descendants who did this to him. Pretty steep a curse for a pair of hands if you ask me. Soon the townies are being dispatched by demon hands or invisible spirits or ghosts that resemble late eighteenth century citizens that are either cannibals or pack some serious heat. Yeah this movie is all over the place. Chris is aided by Debra a former resident who is a reporter though in what capacity I have no idea. They discover that this curse never ends and that a list is composed of the families that were complicit in Efrem's banishment. Sure enough Chris and Debra both have family ties to the cursed townspeople which makes them targeted to be killed. This could be stopped immediately by simply moving out of town. Perhaps Westchester that everyone keeps crowing about.
A return to form for Bill Rebane after I was pleasantly surprised by The Alpha Incident. A cursed piano? Sorry, not frightening. Who exactly cursed the town? If it was Efrem then why did various ghosts appear to help him? How come some are capable of ripping apart flesh like when Emily was "strangled" and yet others use firearms to kill? What was the purpose of the mutant arm? Who is responsible for the worst funeral spread ever at about the forty-second minute mark? Biscuits with ham slices? No open bar? Come on! Lastly and most confusing of all, why didn't Chris get some of that drunk tail Sybil was tossing his way? Was he gay? A eunuch? A ghost? At least he gets what he deserves by having HIS hands cut off. HA! Serves you right holy man.
A return to form for Bill Rebane after I was pleasantly surprised by The Alpha Incident. A cursed piano? Sorry, not frightening. Who exactly cursed the town? If it was Efrem then why did various ghosts appear to help him? How come some are capable of ripping apart flesh like when Emily was "strangled" and yet others use firearms to kill? What was the purpose of the mutant arm? Who is responsible for the worst funeral spread ever at about the forty-second minute mark? Biscuits with ham slices? No open bar? Come on! Lastly and most confusing of all, why didn't Chris get some of that drunk tail Sybil was tossing his way? Was he gay? A eunuch? A ghost? At least he gets what he deserves by having HIS hands cut off. HA! Serves you right holy man.