Review of Hardwired

Hardwired (2009)
4/10
Just shoot me
16 January 2010
The best review I can give for this movie is "mildly entertaining". Even at that, most of the entertainment comes from the embarrassing special effects and flaws that continuously crop up throughout the film.

When I watched this movie, I thought it was made in the early 90's. To think it was produced in 2009 is nearly unbelievable- I think I've seen Youtube videos more impressive. Bullet impacts were star bursts; in one scene a van is hit with bullets multiple times without a single bullet hole.

At several times story flaws were so bad I felt an urge to punch a gaping hole in my TV. In a shooting scene, the main character "Luke" is in an industrial room with SWAT-like enemies closing in. One of them had his gun aimed right at his head when the lights cut out. For some reason, this means that he was incapable of shooting, and literally walked in the opposite direction to find Luke. Mind you, he was previously standing DIRECTLY BEHIND HIM.

The pain doesn't stop there as Luke pretends to occasionally randomly feel out in front of him as if he can't see. Even though the main lights were cut, the room was still clearly lit. This wasn't the only moment I had to wonder whether the director expected me to assume that, despite what the movie shows, the scenes are much different than what they appear. I'm no fancy Hollywood director but I don't think it's that difficult to make a room dark. In fact I can do it at any moment with an amazing invention called "actually turning the lights off".

If you are considering watching this movie, you can feel what it's like right now: Simply ball your hand into a fist then punch yourself in the face repeatedly.
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