So they wanted to make a teenage slasher horror movie, and when they were done they actually believed that they had, since that's what they suggest all over the cover of this DVD. Did they watch the result themselves?!? Are they blind or stupid or did some higher power make them cut out the better half of all the supposed scary scenes, apparently to make it also watchable for tender-hearted infants??
The place where all the evil things happen must be the most uninspiring horror-setting ever! It's a dull dilapidated shed-like little house with nothing sinister whatsoever.
The supposed ferocious and relentless killer is the least frightening person of the whole movie - the limo-driver and especially the over-sexed Jennifer Tilly character are 10 times more frightening! The killer looks like a nice old Victorian land-owner mending his orchard, with a Hobbit-like hat and a scarf hiding his face (arghhh!). He never talks or interferes with anyone, except when he kills every person in exactly the same, uninspiring way.
The killer's instrument is some sort of orchard-rake or fork with sharp teeth. He swings with it over his victims and that leaves bloody scars. They die instantly. Of what?? We don't know, because we never get to see any of these killings, they take place off-screen. Imagine a modern (2008!!) slasher horror movie that does NOT show the one thing that the movie should be all about! It's like a porn movie where every intended sex-scene stops the moment that someone starts to take off his or her clothes. It's plain silly!
The bunch of teenagers is totally interchangeable: the three girls are almost imitations of each other, and two of the three boys also. No (obligatory to the genre) variation like: a bimbo, a goody-two-shoes, a pot-smoking airhead, a jock, etc. etc., but just some vague group of kids that you couldn't care less about. The one kid that survives, didn't do anything to deserve that, like in other movies: she doesn't fight or comes up with some heroic plan, she's just overlooked (with a far-fetched reason, as we in the end learn!).
As I said, the killer doesn't look very intimidating, but in the encounters with the young jocks (who we see at the start of the movie pumping iron, so they're pretty well trained!) he overpowers them like a wolf puffing down some piglets.
So are we to take this seriously? Well, there was some humor intended in this movie with the oversexed teacher (Tilly), but it's way too much over the top and as a result falls down flat, and it's totally out of sync with the rest of the movie where nothing remotely funny or even tongue-in-cheek happens.
The result of all this is a strange, uninspired, totally un-scary, un-graphic and un-funny, sad excuse for a horror movie. The big question is: why did they bother?!
The place where all the evil things happen must be the most uninspiring horror-setting ever! It's a dull dilapidated shed-like little house with nothing sinister whatsoever.
The supposed ferocious and relentless killer is the least frightening person of the whole movie - the limo-driver and especially the over-sexed Jennifer Tilly character are 10 times more frightening! The killer looks like a nice old Victorian land-owner mending his orchard, with a Hobbit-like hat and a scarf hiding his face (arghhh!). He never talks or interferes with anyone, except when he kills every person in exactly the same, uninspiring way.
The killer's instrument is some sort of orchard-rake or fork with sharp teeth. He swings with it over his victims and that leaves bloody scars. They die instantly. Of what?? We don't know, because we never get to see any of these killings, they take place off-screen. Imagine a modern (2008!!) slasher horror movie that does NOT show the one thing that the movie should be all about! It's like a porn movie where every intended sex-scene stops the moment that someone starts to take off his or her clothes. It's plain silly!
The bunch of teenagers is totally interchangeable: the three girls are almost imitations of each other, and two of the three boys also. No (obligatory to the genre) variation like: a bimbo, a goody-two-shoes, a pot-smoking airhead, a jock, etc. etc., but just some vague group of kids that you couldn't care less about. The one kid that survives, didn't do anything to deserve that, like in other movies: she doesn't fight or comes up with some heroic plan, she's just overlooked (with a far-fetched reason, as we in the end learn!).
As I said, the killer doesn't look very intimidating, but in the encounters with the young jocks (who we see at the start of the movie pumping iron, so they're pretty well trained!) he overpowers them like a wolf puffing down some piglets.
So are we to take this seriously? Well, there was some humor intended in this movie with the oversexed teacher (Tilly), but it's way too much over the top and as a result falls down flat, and it's totally out of sync with the rest of the movie where nothing remotely funny or even tongue-in-cheek happens.
The result of all this is a strange, uninspired, totally un-scary, un-graphic and un-funny, sad excuse for a horror movie. The big question is: why did they bother?!