Review of The Telling

The Telling (2009 Video)
1/10
No scares, no nudity, no acting, no NOTHING!
14 August 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Dreadful "horror" film of a bunch of vicious, cruel sorority sisters (right out of Cliché City) who force three pledges to tell horror stories to get into their group. One story deals with an evil doll that (for no good reason) kills people. The second is shot in black and white and deals with the undead. The third has three lousy actresses swearing nonstop and accidentally hearing a murder over the phone...and are sure that the murderer knows where they live.

Every single story here is so predictable it's laughable. Within a few minutes you know how it's going to end. Even the framing story was familiar! The acting was downright atrocious. All of the women are beautiful but just horrible actresses. They look blankly at the camera and recite their lines. That's NOT acting. So you figure there might be some nudity or blood. WRONG! Except for some very mild and brief nudity in the second story all the girls remain fully clothed. As for blood or violence--there is some blood in the first story but it's SO fake it's more funny than scary. So let's sum this up: Predictable stories, terrible acting, no nudity, no violence. Really--what audience were they aiming for here? You can safely skip this one. A 1 all the way.
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