26-year-old gay man fears he will never find true happiness after a series of romantic dumps and cast-offs have led him back into the arms of his ex-boyfriend, who is currently preparing for a commitment ceremony to his lover, a stuffy gay Republican. With both a bombastic sense of satire and an unbroken string of snotty quips, "Ethan Green" never even approaches becoming a fabulous same-sex romantic comedy. Openly gay cartoonist Eric Orner surely didn't mean for his popular comic strip series to become yet another angst-in-the-boudoir farce, formulated around a carousel of failed gay relationships. None of the immature central characters are willing to think outside the box; they are picky, petulant, and boring (even with their shirts off). At one point, the protagonist (rather incredibly) doles out some seasoned dating advice in a scene scored with a plaintive piano. It is the height of ridiculousness that such a bald-faced attempt to tickle a gay audience with the usual shallow conceits like flashes of skin and bitchy banter should suddenly turn introspective. The fickle nature of gay love is addressed continually--which is predictable considering the filmmakers are not interested in seeing a relationship through. To the people who made this movie, commitment is viewed as the end of the line; the comedic thrust of the material is all in the early coupling. I think they got it backwards. *1/2 from ****