I remember visiting my local rental shack and finding this on VHS for cheap. And by cheap, I mean, it was only 50 cents. We have a place here which still specializes in allowing you to rent VHS copies of movies old, new, and DVDs of yesteryear (although the DVD section in Dos Palos is ridiculously tiny - it's a wonder we have any at all... it looks like a donation bin). I didn't want to buy the movie so I opted out of it, and just decided to blow the two Washington's I had to see if this movie was as advertised.
"A movie about killer riddles? A strange looking mentally challenged man sticking his mouth open in the front cover? Golly gee, this looks like it's gonna be a woolybooger!" And before you ask me what a 'woolybooger' is, it's not something that comes out of your nose. It's from the Lone Gunman show of yesteryear; some fat lard tubby says that in a way that sounds so hilarious, it's random, and amusing. I'll be making that into all of my reviews from here on. But now, back to the show.
This movie is more along the lines of, 'What if Disney did a horror movie?' Sadly, you won't be finding any animated foxes slashing mice to death or cats sinking their teeth into elephants while singing a song about it. It's not even animated, and that's a shame, because I would actually like to see an animated horror movie - just because cartoons are mostly for kids, doesn't mean they're limited to one genre. I would know, because I made one.
Not that anyone supported me.
This movie is boring. The computer is not the enemy, just the mini-boss. A mad scientist tries to turn video games into mind-bending machines on it's users and drive the--- ...wait a minute. Don't video games already do that? Doom told me that it's perfectly okay to fight demons with my bare knuckles, and Super Mario told me that slamming my head into blocks will deliver golden doubloons that I can collect each time. If this was going to be a real brain twister in that sense, the real question is, 'Why did a bunch of idiots decide to make a horror film so ridiculously unhorror-like?' It's slow, it's plodding, and by the time you're finished taking a dump - the movie's done.
Also, Eastwest DVD needs to fix my copy. The movie's so bad it skips halfway and ends the movie before anything really picks up.
Then again... maybe that was the evil computer's bidding.
"A movie about killer riddles? A strange looking mentally challenged man sticking his mouth open in the front cover? Golly gee, this looks like it's gonna be a woolybooger!" And before you ask me what a 'woolybooger' is, it's not something that comes out of your nose. It's from the Lone Gunman show of yesteryear; some fat lard tubby says that in a way that sounds so hilarious, it's random, and amusing. I'll be making that into all of my reviews from here on. But now, back to the show.
This movie is more along the lines of, 'What if Disney did a horror movie?' Sadly, you won't be finding any animated foxes slashing mice to death or cats sinking their teeth into elephants while singing a song about it. It's not even animated, and that's a shame, because I would actually like to see an animated horror movie - just because cartoons are mostly for kids, doesn't mean they're limited to one genre. I would know, because I made one.
Not that anyone supported me.
This movie is boring. The computer is not the enemy, just the mini-boss. A mad scientist tries to turn video games into mind-bending machines on it's users and drive the--- ...wait a minute. Don't video games already do that? Doom told me that it's perfectly okay to fight demons with my bare knuckles, and Super Mario told me that slamming my head into blocks will deliver golden doubloons that I can collect each time. If this was going to be a real brain twister in that sense, the real question is, 'Why did a bunch of idiots decide to make a horror film so ridiculously unhorror-like?' It's slow, it's plodding, and by the time you're finished taking a dump - the movie's done.
Also, Eastwest DVD needs to fix my copy. The movie's so bad it skips halfway and ends the movie before anything really picks up.
Then again... maybe that was the evil computer's bidding.