Dumplings (2004)
7/10
Tasty full-length feature offers a little more to sink your teeth into than the short.
18 March 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Those who've seen the Dumplings short on the rather awesome 3 Extremes compilation know basically what to expect here. Much as Se7en became known for its "What's in the box?" sequence, this movie has become infamous for "What's inside the titular dumplings?", the answer of which is far grimmer than the severed head of a terrible actress. It's played very well, with the revelation ensuring that many lines of dialogue create shivers and every crackly crunch of a dumpling being munched on inducing squirms in most audience members. Sure, it's a one trick pony, but when the trick involves sledgehammering one of humanity's ultimate taboos, then you don't really need another.

Dumpings is about a woman who's desperate to get rid of some wrinkles and give her skin that youthly glow in order to hold her husband's interest. Of course, any husband worth a damn would oblige by dropping trou and offering up a batch of the world's most effective face moisturiser, but this guy's too busy with business and shagging women on the side to perform this kindly service. Their relationship is somewhat typical of the phenomenon whereby male wealth and female beauty go hand in hand. It's how we end up with the sugar daddy concept and why we see Donald Trump types marrying fake-tanned, fake-titted models a third of their age; females across the globe striving for ultimate beauty just so they can spread their legs for a guy old enough to be their grandfather in return for a diamond necklace. The sacred bond of marriage has become, in many cases, nothing more than a form of socially acceptable prostitution. I now pronounce you scumbag and whore. Now sign your certificate and start trading services.

So, Dumplings comments on this societal plague that sees a woman's beauty as a quantitative valuation of her overall worth, but it's also about the need to prolong one's youth to the detriment of others, mainly the youth themselves. The idea of leaving a better world for our children has been discarded in favour of a "me first" attitude where scrambling for every possible way to make the most out of life contributes to a legacy that damns the children before they've even left the womb. The Beatles told the baby boomers that all they needed was love, but the baby boomers weren't listening. They don't want love, they want a nicer house. Then they want the car they've always dreamed of, but then they need another car to drive to work. Of course that means they need a new house with a double garage, and while they're at it, why not buy another house as an investment property. The next generation inherits a world where luxuries have become necessities because you can't possibly be happy unless you own lots of stuff, right? Right? So you'd better work your ass off to get those things or else other people will think you're a failure. Screw weekends, that's 2 whole days that you could be working to buy more things. Oh, but make sure you get to the gym at 5 am because you're no spring chicken anymore, and remember your next Botox treatment is on Sunday. Follow that through to its logical conclusion and you have a whole bunch of great looking parents spawning the most spoiled, privileged generation of kids in history who are cutting themselves out of sheer boredom and apathy toward their own self-worth. Future fetuses being masticated between the teeth of superficial here-and-now "happiness", because the human race forgot that all it needed was love.

What does that have to do with Dumplings? Nothing really. Got a little side-tracked. Sorry 'bout that. Incidentally, it's a good movie. You should check it out, even if you've already seen the short.
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