4/10
The Boys-Own Guide To Space
20 March 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This is a classic example of modern TV and documentaries in general. It is dumbed-down supreme. For the first episode, enough information that could be communicated by Patrick Moore in 15 minutes was strung-out and sometimes repeated for what seemed like 2 hours. Whilst - endorsing the current obsession with yoof - new-found favourite of the moment, Professor Brian Cox, brought his boyish enthusiasms and his bucket-and-spade to bear upon the cosmos and all things within. I don't mean to appear unkind or - heaven forbid - counter-ageist, but Coxy doesn't look old enough to be an undergraduate let alone a fully-fledged Emeritus. To hear this cherub-cheeked academic reiterate the mechanisms of the universe was as jarring as political comment from a pram. The only time he seemed to fit the picture was when he was making sand-castles. Prodigy he may be, but plausible he ain't. This job needs a Time-Lord, or at least somebody who'd pass for one.

Sadly, the only really informative content of the program was provided by his narration. And this often fronted a backdrop of largely computer-generated 'wonder'-ful imagery that bore little or no cogent association with what our boy-genius was actually saying.

Worse still, those production chuckle-heads at the dear old BBC had incorporated a music track that practically drowned out his piping little voice with crashing cords of heavenly bombast. In order to avoid an evening of tinnitus it became necessary to turn the volume down to a level that rendered his narration almost inaudible. I gather The Firm received so many complaints about this particular issue that they actually intend to pump down the jam for future episodes. That in itself is a 'universal wonder', because if there's one thing the Wizards of Wood Lane are usually deaf to, it's the tastes of their viewers.

The BBC can make absolutely top-drawer documentaries. They recently produced to little popular acclaim, a short series called 'Indian Hill Railways' which was an absolute corker. There wasn't a single wasted second. I've bought the DVD. 'Wonders Of The Universe' was as near to being the opposite as could be. It was ill-conceived, cheap, and as vacuous as deep space itself. It was a video coffee-table-book, with lots of startling, artistic imagery abutted by short captions of general information. It's the universe for kids.

Meantime, grown-ups should stick with 'The Sky At Night'. It'll easily outlive this pap.
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