By the gods. This is 88 minutes that I will never get back. And I want it back.
I've been re-watching a lot of 80's chop socky movies lately, realizing that 20 some odd years later, they're not nearly as good as what I thought they were at the time.
Netflix is a wonderful thing. Flat rate and I can watch all the schlock I can stand. Well, with all my Sho Kosugi, Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme selections, this title popped up in my recommendations. I always figured with Netflix, what the heck. If I don't like a movie, I can just turn it off. But some things are just so, so bad that you just have to see it through to the end.
In case you missed the note, spoilers ahead.
First off, when you're a green belt in any style, you would never, ever, EVER put on a black belt "just to see how it looked", unless you were in the privacy of your own home with the curtains drawn.
The description calls the main character "brash". I'd have to go with disrespectful, insolent and if I were his Sensei, out on the freakin' street.
So this Sensei, see, he sends this idiot to the forest outside of a town where his family was murdered. After seeing the flashback of the events of the past, ya gotta wonder... why didn't little rich boy finish him off, too. The younger girl was out cold and he sliced and diced her but left Sensei unconscious and untouched. Witness, much? Better yet, origin point for a revenge movie.
Anyway, Johnny "I can kick anyone's butt" goes to the forest where he is knocked unconscious so many times that I actually thought to myself "this guy is going to die from a major concussion by the end of the film!". He shows absolutely no martial prowess whatsoever. Even as a green belt he should have done a lot better job of defending himself instead of getting his butt handed to him every ten minutes.
And continuity! Where to begin? OK, so I realize that the "ghosts" move his stuff around. A lot. But they always make a point of indicating when that happens. His bag is moved. DUH, Duh, duh. His bokken goes missing. DUH, Duh, duh. But c'mon there are so many times that he's carrying the bokken, then he's not. It almost like one of those "what's different in picture B than A" puzzles.
And the "ghosts"? What exactly are they? Tangible? Not? The woman with the sword seems pretty tangible. I mean, she sliced up the guy in the beginning pretty good. She and the younger woman kicked the crap out of Johnny, yet when he went to touch her, he passed right through her. And he could touch the boy when he grabbed him to save him from the falling tree... that never actually fell.
And after it's all said and done, they close with the Sensei looking through the photo album almost, but not quite, in tears. What did Johnny learn? That helping ghosts get revenge on their murderers was more important than the almighty tournament? Do we get that from his sitting in the field as the sun sets? So maybe I'm rambling, but honestly, there is just so much wrong with this dren that it's like swinging a big stick in a pinata factory. No matter where you swing, you're going to hit something. Only you ain't getting candy out of the deal.
And the only reason I didn't give it one star was, well, I really have seen worse. But not much.
I've been re-watching a lot of 80's chop socky movies lately, realizing that 20 some odd years later, they're not nearly as good as what I thought they were at the time.
Netflix is a wonderful thing. Flat rate and I can watch all the schlock I can stand. Well, with all my Sho Kosugi, Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme selections, this title popped up in my recommendations. I always figured with Netflix, what the heck. If I don't like a movie, I can just turn it off. But some things are just so, so bad that you just have to see it through to the end.
In case you missed the note, spoilers ahead.
First off, when you're a green belt in any style, you would never, ever, EVER put on a black belt "just to see how it looked", unless you were in the privacy of your own home with the curtains drawn.
The description calls the main character "brash". I'd have to go with disrespectful, insolent and if I were his Sensei, out on the freakin' street.
So this Sensei, see, he sends this idiot to the forest outside of a town where his family was murdered. After seeing the flashback of the events of the past, ya gotta wonder... why didn't little rich boy finish him off, too. The younger girl was out cold and he sliced and diced her but left Sensei unconscious and untouched. Witness, much? Better yet, origin point for a revenge movie.
Anyway, Johnny "I can kick anyone's butt" goes to the forest where he is knocked unconscious so many times that I actually thought to myself "this guy is going to die from a major concussion by the end of the film!". He shows absolutely no martial prowess whatsoever. Even as a green belt he should have done a lot better job of defending himself instead of getting his butt handed to him every ten minutes.
And continuity! Where to begin? OK, so I realize that the "ghosts" move his stuff around. A lot. But they always make a point of indicating when that happens. His bag is moved. DUH, Duh, duh. His bokken goes missing. DUH, Duh, duh. But c'mon there are so many times that he's carrying the bokken, then he's not. It almost like one of those "what's different in picture B than A" puzzles.
And the "ghosts"? What exactly are they? Tangible? Not? The woman with the sword seems pretty tangible. I mean, she sliced up the guy in the beginning pretty good. She and the younger woman kicked the crap out of Johnny, yet when he went to touch her, he passed right through her. And he could touch the boy when he grabbed him to save him from the falling tree... that never actually fell.
And after it's all said and done, they close with the Sensei looking through the photo album almost, but not quite, in tears. What did Johnny learn? That helping ghosts get revenge on their murderers was more important than the almighty tournament? Do we get that from his sitting in the field as the sun sets? So maybe I'm rambling, but honestly, there is just so much wrong with this dren that it's like swinging a big stick in a pinata factory. No matter where you swing, you're going to hit something. Only you ain't getting candy out of the deal.
And the only reason I didn't give it one star was, well, I really have seen worse. But not much.