What can one say?...This is a terrible, terrible movie. I have waited 27 years for another Conan movie, 29 for another good one, and now I hope they just leave the character alone. I had my doubts when I first heard Jason Mamoa would be the lead, and that Marcus Nispel would direct. So I went into this movie with low expectations but a lot of hope. Sufficed to say my expectations were too high, and my hopes, slowly but surely throughout the course of 2 hours were only for the merciful coming of the end of this....whatever this was.
This is not Conan, it bears little to nothing in common with the character created by Robert Howard. The dialogue sounds as if it was written by teenagers, and what did they blackmail Morgan Freeman with to get him to do the monologue. The acting suffers from the poor writing and the actors cant force the drivel out with any sort of conviction. This movie could have been any generic sword and sorcery/fantasy film. I don't even know why I gave this 3 stars. It deserves maybe 2 for some decent scenery. What a waste.
So the story is a young Conans father is killed by being bathed in molten metal, with Conan left by the evil Karim Zim ( Stephen Lang ) to witness it. Karim Zim is intent upon reuniting the pieces of a mask made from the bones of kings created in the ancient empire of Acheron. Well the mask was shattered by barbarians intent upon the overthrow of Acheron and the pieces divided up and hidden so that the terrible power would never be able to menace again. Wouldn't you know it Conans father happens to be one of the protectors of one of these pieces of this mask.
So what happens once the diabolical Karim Zim gets a hold of the final piece and the mask is complete.....? Oh nothing not for another 12 YEARS !!!!!!!!....HUH?
Yes you see the reuniting of the various pieces of the mask isn't all that is required. No, Karim Zim must find the " pure blood " of a descendant of ancient Acheron apparently to activate the masks powers, which he will use to return his wife, a witch who was apparently burned at the stack, to life so they may rule the world. This is where Rachel Nichols comes in as the prospective "pure blood" sacrifice whom Karim Zim took 12 years to find, allowing our hero Conan to be of an age to oppose him. I cant go on, I wish I could but it just gets worse and worse, even after Karim Zim gets the blood, without killing Rachel Nichols but leaving a nasty cut between her fake breasts, what does he do with the great power of this mask? NOTHING!!!! He gets into a sword fight with Conan, he doesn't miracle any monsters or demons to help him, what the mask does is apparently cling to Stephen Langs head looking like the face sucker from Alien. Seriously.
DO NOT SPEND YOUR MONEY ON THIS CRAP.
This is not Conan, it bears little to nothing in common with the character created by Robert Howard. The dialogue sounds as if it was written by teenagers, and what did they blackmail Morgan Freeman with to get him to do the monologue. The acting suffers from the poor writing and the actors cant force the drivel out with any sort of conviction. This movie could have been any generic sword and sorcery/fantasy film. I don't even know why I gave this 3 stars. It deserves maybe 2 for some decent scenery. What a waste.
So the story is a young Conans father is killed by being bathed in molten metal, with Conan left by the evil Karim Zim ( Stephen Lang ) to witness it. Karim Zim is intent upon reuniting the pieces of a mask made from the bones of kings created in the ancient empire of Acheron. Well the mask was shattered by barbarians intent upon the overthrow of Acheron and the pieces divided up and hidden so that the terrible power would never be able to menace again. Wouldn't you know it Conans father happens to be one of the protectors of one of these pieces of this mask.
So what happens once the diabolical Karim Zim gets a hold of the final piece and the mask is complete.....? Oh nothing not for another 12 YEARS !!!!!!!!....HUH?
Yes you see the reuniting of the various pieces of the mask isn't all that is required. No, Karim Zim must find the " pure blood " of a descendant of ancient Acheron apparently to activate the masks powers, which he will use to return his wife, a witch who was apparently burned at the stack, to life so they may rule the world. This is where Rachel Nichols comes in as the prospective "pure blood" sacrifice whom Karim Zim took 12 years to find, allowing our hero Conan to be of an age to oppose him. I cant go on, I wish I could but it just gets worse and worse, even after Karim Zim gets the blood, without killing Rachel Nichols but leaving a nasty cut between her fake breasts, what does he do with the great power of this mask? NOTHING!!!! He gets into a sword fight with Conan, he doesn't miracle any monsters or demons to help him, what the mask does is apparently cling to Stephen Langs head looking like the face sucker from Alien. Seriously.
DO NOT SPEND YOUR MONEY ON THIS CRAP.