charlytully Review of Coffin Rock

Coffin Rock (2009)

Australia apparently has no humane society . . .

[6/10 · 11 January 2012]

. . . since filmmakers can get away with peppering this FICTIONAL story with such graphic civilized world no-nos as having a man with anger management issues swinging a poor little baby kangaroo against his wall until its brains are jelly, and biting a large fish in half. Maybe Aussies view this as some sort of macho survival-of-the-fittest BS, but it's clear to any educated person that the ill-fated fish and doomed marsupial each had more brain power than COFFIN ROCK's wretched main human character (Evan, played by Sam Parsonson, who is obviously one "-son" short of a hat trick). TAXI DRIVER's Travis Bickle is about as much of a loser as you'll see on American film, and even HE can come up with unforgettable succinct tag-lines (such as, "You talking' to ME?!). However, perhaps U.S. film goers are spoiled. Maybe down under you can point the camera at the sun on an overcast day, and folks will watch the footage patiently for 90 minutes, hoping for something to happen. COFFIN ROCK is one of those totally predictable anti-thrillers, where you can see every tiny twist of the plot coming from a mile off. It is distinguished only by the nearly unprecedented and totally gratuitous animal slaughter, a clear throwback to yester-century.